Truth And Deception
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: Olivia goes in search of the truth about her father. She realizes quickly that many of the details her mother had told her about him were lies. Now she must unravel the secrets of the past to protect her future.
1. 1 The News

Author's Note:

**Ok, a few things here are different from the show. Serena Benson was raped. But Olivia never ran her DNA in the system. So there is no Simon and she doesn't know anything about her father, except that he is the man who raped her mother. **

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter One: The News)_

Olivia hung up the phone and stared across the squad room with a worried look on her face. Her last doctor's visit had seemed to go well, but now they wanted to see her and speak to her about the results of a blood work up they had done. She looked over at Elliot sitting at his desk concentrating hard on the file in front of him. He raised his head to look into her eyes.

"Liv, is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said forcing a smile.

Elliot gave her the look. The one that clearly said I don't know why you bother lying to me because I can see something is obviously bothering you.

"I went to the doctor the other day. I cannot seem to shake this flu. They said everything looked fine and took some blood samples for tests. They want me to come back in to discuss the results. That's all. I'm sure it is nothing."

She turned and walked to the coffee pot and poured herself another cup of coffee.

"Oh, okay." Elliot watched her cautiously for a moment then returned his attention to his work.

"I think I am going to run by there on my lunch break."

"You want me to bring you some food back?"

"That would be great," she said with a smile.

That evening Olivia sat on the sofa in her apartment holding the paperwork she had gotten from her physician in her hand. She had read through it until her head was pounding and it didn't make the news seem anymore real. It was definitely a shock, news she had in no way expected. Now as she sat here and should be thinking of how this would effect her life all the only thoughts that crossed her mind were of Elliot. How was she going to tell him? Part of her didn't want anyone to know. But part of her knew she had to tell Elliot, this change was going to greatly effect his life as well.


	2. 2 Diagnosis

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Two: Diagnosis)_

Elliot arrived at Olivia's apartment around seven o'clock with a pepperoni pizza and a six pack of beer.

"Right on time," Olivia said as she brushed a tear from her cheek and walked toward the apartment door.

"Hey," he said as she opened the door.

"Hey," she said smiling back at him. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. This was going to be so hard.

Olivia took a deep breath and followed him to the kitchen.

"So, how was that thing with your doctor? Did you get it worked out?"

"Yeah," she smiled and tried to avoid the subject.

She walked to the cabinet pulling out paper plates and napkins and laid them beside the pizza box on the table.

They sat down together and enjoyed their meal, making small talk.

Elliot looked up at her from across the table. He knew her well enough to be able to tell when she was trying to find a way to break something to him. He took a sip from his beer and watched her as she curled the label on hers with her fingernail. She had something on her mind. Something big. He didn't want to make her feel pressured and knew that eventually she would come to him and tell him what was bothering her. Until then, he would wait.

Olivia took a deep breath and walked toward the steps up to the roof.

Here we go, Elliot thought to himself. They'd had many discussions on that roof and talked about so many important things. They were both comfortable here. It was like their own little world. Their escape. And the only place in the city they would be completely free.

Elliot grabbed two more beers from the refrigerator and followed close behind her. Olivia walked past the patio table and chairs and sat down on the ledge to look out over the city.

"Is everything okay?" Elliot asked softly trying to get her to look at him. But she just stared blankly ahead.

"Liv?"

She turned and looked at him over her shoulder and he noticed the glisten of her tears in the moonlight. Still she said nothing, but just stared.

Elliot walked over taking the beer bottle from her hand and sitting it on the ledge. He took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and hugged her.

He held her in his arms for a minute and kissed the top of her forehead as he gently combed his fingers through the waves of dark hair around her face. Olivia looked up at him, once again with tears in her eyes.

"It's okay," he said softly. "Liv, you can talk to me."

She closed her eyes once more as her tears flowed down both cheeks and she buried her face against his chest and just cried.

Elliot had no idea what was going on with her. He wanted to ask, but was afraid she still was not ready to tell him. So he waited. Standing on the roof of the apartment in the dark of the night and held her as she cried.

About ten minutes later Olivia took a deep breath and raised her head. She looked up and her eyes met Elliot's as he just moved his thumb over the side of her tear stained face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

"It's okay. That is what I am here for."

She took a breath and exhaled deeply then walked over and took a seat in one of the chairs next to the table. Elliot followed her lead and sat down across from her in the other chair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked trying to mask the concern in his voice.

Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest and stared up at the full moon. Elliot watched her face as her bottom lip began to quiver uncontrollably. After a few more minutes of silence she looked over at him and shook her head.

"I can't, Elliot. I'm sorry."

She stood up and walked back inside. Elliot gave her a few minutes then went back inside to check on her.

Olivia was standing by the window in the living room lit only by the light of the moon. Elliot walked in behind her.

"They wanted to discuss something they had found in by blood work," she began.

Elliot walked over and stood behind her staring at her staring at the night sky. Olivia took a deep breath and turned to look at him in the dark. She was still crying and he wanted nothing more than to make her tears disappear forever.

"Elliot, I'm sick."

He raised his hand to cup the side of her face.

"Sick?"

She slowly nodded her head. The sadness in her eyes was breaking his heart.

"What is it?" He asked.

"It is called….Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia."

"Leukemia?" Elliot tried to hide the fear the swept over him as he heard her say the words. "Liv…"

She just stared at him with her big brown eyes. Elliot wasn't sure what to do or that to say. His head was in panic mode and swimming with thoughts and memories of her, them over the years. Playing like movies across a screen in the back of his mind. His heart wanted him to hold her tight in his arms and never let her go. If he never let go of her, he couldn't lose her.

Elliot felt a tear against his cheek and realized that he had began to shake just a little in the fear of her heavy announcement. He placed his hand against the side of her face once more and stared into her eyes. He softly kissed her forehead and held her against him once more.

They sat and talked for a little while about random things. Elliot was full of questions about her illness and diagnosis, but she had so much to think about right now he just let it go for the moment.

"How do they treat it?" He blurted out in the middle of a conversation about a case.

"There are different ways, I guess. My doctor is suggesting Chemotherapy. I just need a little time for all of this to sink in before I get in to something like that. He wants to try a bone marrow transplant. He thinks that is my best shot at beating this."

"We have the same blood type, Liv. You can use mine."

"It isn't always that simple," she said with a soft smile. "We could have the same blood type and you still not be a match."

"I want to get tested. You know I would do anything…"

"I know."

Elliot slipped his hand into hers and wrapped his arm around her as she yawned.

"You should get some sleep."

"I don't think I could sleep," she said softly looking down at his fingers locked in hers.

Elliot sat up and looked into her eyes. "You should try. It isn't good for you to be over tired. Come on…" he stood up from the sofa holding her hands in his and lead her toward her bedroom. "I will sit with you until you fall asleep."

Olivia smiled. She was exhausted, but so afraid to sleep.

Elliot laid down beside her in the bed. She laid on one pillow facing him as he laid on the other and just stared at her.

"We're gonna fight this, Liv. Together. You are not alone in this." He raised his hand and placed his palm against hers as he locked their fingers together once more. Then he brought her hand to meet his lips.

"Elliot…." she stared wearily into his eyes and began to cry once more. Elliot scooted in against her and pulled her in against him, holding her tight. "I have never been so scared in my life," she said softly.

"Neither have I," he whispered kissing the top of her head.

She closed her eyes and nestled her face against his chest.

"Elliot."

"Yeah, Liv?"

"Stay with me," she breathed against his shirt.

"Always," replied softly. And he held her in his arms all through the night.


	3. 3 The Plan

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Three: The Plan)_

Elliot woke the next morning with Olivia curled up tightly in his arms. He moved his arm slowly over her back and kissed the top of her head. He pulled the blanket up around her and just watched her sleep for an hour or so. He loved the way she felt in his arms. As Elliot watched her he prayed that somehow they would find some way to beat this. Or maybe somehow this had all been some kind of horrible mix up and was really fine.

Elliot closed his eyes and could feel her heart beat against him. He had to be strong and help her through this. He could not imagine his life without her and refused to let that nightmare become a reality.

Olivia shifted and moaned a little then opened her eyes to look at him. She smiled sweetly and gazed up at him. She had an innocence about her, almost childlike.

"How did you sleep?" He asked looking into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Really well. Thanks El," she said softly smiling at him again. Her smiles were like the sunshine. Warm and bright. He had always thought she had an amazing smile.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah," she laughed.

"Why don't you wait here and I will fix you breakfast in bed."

"You would do that for me?"

"Olivia, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. You are my best friend and I love you."

"Aww. I love you too, El."

He leaned up and kissed her forehead once more. "You rest. I will be back in a little bit."

"Okay."

Elliot returned twenty minutes later with biscuits and gravy and coffee. He sat beside her on the bed and handed her a plate. They ate breakfast together then laid back down and talked.

"I made a call," Elliot started, "I have an appointment this afternoon to have the bone marrow test. I want to know, I need to know if I am a match. I think we should talk to everyone at work. I know they will all go get tested."

"Elliot, I don't want to tell anyone. Not right now at least."

"Olivia, they love you. We all do and I am sure they will do whatever they can to help."

"El, please. I'm just not ready for that."

"For what?"

"I don't want to be treated different."

"Liv, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about….everyone is already so overprotective of me. Do you honestly think that things wouldn't change if they knew? Elliot, I don't want to be treated like I am broken. Just please, promise me you wont tell anyone."

"Of course not."

"I told you because someone needed to know what was going on just in case something happened. And because, I needed someone to talk to. And I couldn't keep this from you Elliot. I tell you everything."

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

Three days letter while they were at work Elliot received the phone call he had been waiting for. The results of his bone marrow test were in and he was not a match. He was devastated. He was so sure that he could help her and now he was not going to be able to save her.

Elliot told her his not so good news and suggested she tell their friends and coworkers. Olivia was being her stubborn self and again she refused. Requesting that they keep the news of her illness just between the two of them.

"How are we going to find a match, Liv if you are keeping it a secret?" He asked.

"There are programs and lists. Like with kidneys or anything else that people donate. It is unlikely that people I'm not related to would be a match anyway."

His eyes flashed quickly to hers.

"What does that mean?"

"Well, the best match for anyone would be a full sibling. Since I have no siblings the next best shot is a parent."

"But your mother is dead. And your father…."

She looked up at him. "I have to find him, El."

"Olivia, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I don't really have a choice. But I need your help."

"Anything."

"I read her file. About the rape, everything. There was a DNA sample and some hair samples that were not a match to her blood type found on her clothes. Those samples are in the evidence room at a precinct across town. They didn't have the technology back then, they were only able to tell that the blood types were not a match. But if we ran those samples today and he was in the system, it would at least give me a name. Then I would know who I was looking for."

"They were there this entire time and you didn't run them?"

"Well, it is illegal Elliot because it is not an active case, not our case and her files were sealed when she died. I knew the key to finding the identity of my father was in that box, Elliot. But until now, I wasn't ready to know who he was. The man did horrible things to my mother. I hate him for what he did to her. And if things were different now, I still wouldn't want to know who he was." She took a deep breath to regain control of her emotions, then shifted the conversation. "The last time I checked out the evidence box it had not even been opened since the late seventy's. They probably don't even realize that the samples are in there and could probably help to close the case. When I found them I was torn. If I ran them, they could finally catch him and put him behind bars for what he did to her. But I would be forced to face him and to acknowledge him, to know who he was after all of these years. I was selfish Elliot. I didn't want to face him. So I closed up the box and turned it back in. That was three years ago."

Elliot took a deep breath. "I can get the samples, Liv. But whose to say that after all of these years they are still usable?"

"It is a chance I will have to take. It could be my only shot."

He squeezed her hand in his. "I'll go make some calls and see if I can get a hold of that evidence box. We can do this."

Olivia looked up at him with worry in her eyes. "And after all of these years, I am going to meet my father."

"You don't have to do this alone. I am right here the entire way, no matter what."

"Elliot, you are the best, best friend ever. I don't know many people who have someone in their life who would go through the things you have gone through for me."

"With you."

"With me." She looked into his eyes and smiled. "I don't know what I would have done all of this time without you in my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I need you to know that."

"Now don't go getting sentimental on me," he smiled. "We are going to figure this out. And I am going to do everything I can to fix this. I am supposed to dance at your wedding, remember?"

Olivia smiled and he kissed her forehead. "I'm not even dating anyone."

"No, but you will. And get married and have babies. And I am going to be right there beside you the whole time. That is what best friends do."

Olivia laughed. "Sounds like you have it all planned out."

"I guess so."

"I should get going. I have a lot of work to do."

"It is Saturday, Elliot."

"Yeah, but I plan on getting that box and at least get those samples ran. It will take a few days for results. Why don't you stay here and get some rest."

"Elliot it is almost noon and all I have done is sleep."

"Well, you do this for me and when I get back in a few hours we will go do something."

"What?"

"Anything you want, my treat." He kissed her forehead again. "So you be thinking about that, too."

"Okay."

"Okay, I will be back in a few hours. Your phone is here by the bed and a bottle of water. If you need anything call me."

"I will." She took a deep breath as he turned to walk out of the room. "Elliot?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For taking such good care of me. And for just being here for me. Having someone like you makes going through this a lot less scary."

"Olivia, there is no where else I would be. You have always been there for me when I needed someone. Now I get to return the favor. That is what best friends are for. Get some sleep I will see you in a little while."

"Okay." She closed her eyes and settled back into her pillow.

Elliot watched her for a moment fighting back tears, then turned and headed across town to get that box. He wasn't sure if this plan would work, but for now it was the only plan they had. And her life depended on the answers they would find inside.


	4. 4 Pandora's Box

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Four: Pandora's Box)_

A four days later the results of the DNA match returned. Olivia sat at her desk staring at a set of mug shots on her computer. The man they were searching for, her father was in prison at a place in Jersey for robbery and the murder of four people. Seeing his face on the computer screen made her feel sick. How could this monster possibly be related to her, let alone be her father?

Elliot approached from behind her and placed a hand softly on her shoulder. Olivia jumped and clicked her mouse closing the window on her computer screen to a little tab on the bottom of the screen.

"Is that him?" Elliot asked without thinking.

"Yes," she gasped and he could tell she was about to cry.

"Liv, you know this is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of?"

"It is just private, you know? I would like to keep it that way."

"I'm sorry," he said turning up to walk away. "I didn't mean you, El. I just don't want word about any of this getting out around here."

Elliot nodded his head.

"Does it have a name and address?"

"Yeah, it also has an inmate number."

Elliot stared into her eyes.

"He is in a prison in New Jersey for robbery and the murder of four people. He killed a three hostages and a cop. One of the hostages was a twelve year old kid." She lowered her face into her hands trying not to cry.

She knew he wasn't a good man, but somehow had hoped that every bad thing she had been afraid of her entire life would have been wrong if she only knew the entire truth of him. As a child she had fantasized that he was a handsome wonderful man who if he had only known about her would have loved her more than anything in the world. In her mothers worst moments she had dreamed that some day her father would show up and rescue her from the Hell she called her life. She had hoped that somehow none of the horrible things he mother had told her about the rape were true.

But sitting here now and looking at the picture of the murder in his mug shots made all of her worst thoughts of him a reality. She stared at the man's features. She looked nothing like him. She had always known she looked like her mother, but how could she not have inherited anything from her father? Maybe it was for the better, she thought as she closed out the picture and sat quietly looking down at her desk.

"I can call and get us in to see him if you want. Or just wait a few days and give you some time to think about it. Let all of this register," Elliot leaned in to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He could not even begin to imagine what she was feeling right now.

"No," she said standing to walk to the ladies room. "I just want to get this over with." Olivia headed to the bathroom and leaned over the staring at her reflection in the mirror. The brown eyes, those were the same as her mother's. Her nose and ears and mouth, all the same as her mother. She watched as a tear rolled from her eye and down her cheek falling onto the counter beside her hand. Her hands and long slender fingers she got from her mother.

She turned away from the mirror and leaned against the counter as she stared at the wall ahead of her. She had to find a way to control herself. She could not walk in to see this man and start crying like this. She had to keep control. That control was her only chance of even possibly getting what she needed form him.

Olivia splashed her face with cool water and walked back out to her desk.

"You okay?" Elliot whispered across the desk.

"I'm fine. I just needed a minute to think."

"They can get us in tomorrow afternoon to see him. I wanted to talk to you first. I told her I would call her back."

"Let's do it," she said looking at him with tired eyes.

"Okay."

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

That night she sat looking through the inmate's file on Elliot's dining room table as he cooked them both dinner. Every detail of the man and his crimes flooding through her mind like a dam had suddenly broke and released the information she had tried so hard for so long to contain.

"It's almost ready," Elliot said noticing the worried look on her face.

A few minutes later he sat two plates of food down on the table and handed her a glass of wine.

"Thanks," she said forcing a smile as she took a sip from her glass and looked back down at the file in front of her.

"Nope," Elliot said closing the file and sitting it on the kitchen counter. "You need a break. And you need to eat, you haven't hardly eaten anything all day."

"I just don't really get that hungry. And if I eat and I'm not hungry, it makes me sick." She stirred her food around on her plate and took a bite. "This is really good."

Elliot smiled.

After dinner they sat on the couch together and watched a movie. Well, part of a movie. Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder and within twenty minutes had fallen asleep. After the movie ended Elliot shut things down for the night then picked her up and carried her to his bed. He laid her gently down and covered her with the blanket then slipped off her shoes and dropped them in the floor. He turned off the bedside lamp and stood up to head into the living room to sleep on the couch.

"El?"

He heard her voice softly behind him.

"Yeah?"

He turned around to look at her as she scooted over in the bed making room for him. Elliot climbed slowly into the bed beside her and pulled the blankets up around him as well. Olivia smiled and laid back against her pillow.

"I sleep so much better when you are with me."

Elliot smiled back at her and cupped his hand against the side of her cheek. He leaned in to her through the darkness and placed a soft kiss against her forehead. He laid his head back against the pillow and stared into her eyes.

Olivia raised her hand to his and softly kissed his palm. Elliot placed his forehead against hers and their noses brushed gently together. He could feel her eyelashes on his cheek, then she opened her eyes and stared into his once more.

Ten thousand thoughts were crashing through his brain, all of them revolving around her. And right now he wanted nothing more than to finally know what it felt like to kiss her lips. After all of these years and all of those nights of trying not to think about her as he drifted off to sleep.

The next thing he knew their mouths were pressed together and his tongue in her mouth. Elliot was not even sure how it had started or who had made the first move, but it was happening and it was amazing. Her kisses were sweet like the wine from her glass and his hands quickly made their way to her hair.

Things slowly progressed as hands moved over forbidden places and their eyes stared into one another. Elliot could not stop kissing her. And Olivia didn't want him to stop. Before long they laid against each other wearing only underwear and longing to make the next move. Elliot was ready, he had wanted this for so long. But he didn't want to rush this or scare her. She needed him more now than ever and above everything else he had to be there for her as a friend.

He pulled slowly back and looked into her eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Olivia asked softly.

"No, everything is perfect." He looked deep into her and sighed as he pressed his forehead to hers again and kissed her lips. "Olivia, are you sure? Maybe this isn't the best time. I don't want things to get weird between us."

She raised up to kiss him. "So we don't let them get weird. We are the only ones who can control that."

Elliot nodded his head and kissed her. His hands moved slowly up her back and unclasped her bra then he dropped it to the floor. She raise up as he pulled down her panties and dropped them beside the matching bra in the floor. A few seconds later his boxers were on the top of the underwear pile in the floor and he was making love to her.

They moved slowly together as he touched her soft skin and kissed her body. He took his time with her coaxing out several small moans as he moved slowly inside her. Olivia trailed baby kisses down his chest and then back up until their mouths met once more. Elliot caressed his hands over the warm skin of her belly and back as she raised up over him and moved slowly pressing against his chest for leverage.

She tipped her head back and moaned again softly. Everything they did felt so right. Elliot raised up and locked his fingers in hers with his left hand as he drew his right hand up to caress the side of her face and comb through her hair. She was getting close again, he could feel it. And he could tell by the intoxicated look in her eyes.

But this time he was close as well. Elliot laid back in the bed and pulled her body against his. He rolled over where she was on her back looking up at him and he was moving on top of her. Olivia tipped her head back again as Elliot kissed her neck and continued to push her over the edge.

She looked deep into his eyes and he pressed his forehead to hers as he sped up his pace just a little. She moaned and gasped for air.

"Oh God…." she whispered softly as he continued. "Oh, baby….oh, Elliot."

"Yeah?" He gasped back to her staring into her eyes.

"Oh, yeah."

"Right there?"

"Ummm," she moaned softly. "Left…oh, right there." She closed her eyes and began to moan once more.

"Look at me baby," he whispered softly

Olivia opened her eyes to stare in to his as they finished together. Neither of them disappointed.

Elliot held her tight against his body. Olivia shifted until she found a place, her place in his arms. The place against his chest where when his arms closed tight around her body she fit perfectly. Almost as if they were made to fit together. She still trembled a little from her orgasm as she exhaled slowly and closed her heavy eyes. For tonight, nothing else in the world mattered but being in the arms of the man she loved. Before long they were both asleep.

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

Olivia leaned against the car in the prison parking lot with one hand on her stomach. She was nervous and felt nauseous as Elliot waited patiently for her to decide if she wanted to proceed.

"You don't have to go in," he said defensively as he softly kissed her lips. "I can go in and talk to him. Explain the situation and cut him a deal if he cooperates."

Olivia smiled. "You can't cut him a deal anyway, Elliot. We don't make the deals."

"No, but it made you smile. Casey can get us a deal. But first you would have to explain it to her."

"I'm just not ready yet."

He placed his hand against the fide of her face and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her gently and hugged her tight. "Then we'll wait until you are," he said looking into her eyes.

Olivia slid her hands to rest on his chest. It felt so good to finally know how it felt to be held in his arms. She leaned forward and placed her forehead against his shoulder. She closed her eyes for a moment. This was about more than her truth. This was also about finally confronting the man who had raped her mother. The man who helped to create her. This was a truth she needed to know.

"I want to do this now," she said softly looking up at Elliot.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I have you here with me. I will be okay."

Elliot combed his fingers through the hair around her face and tucked it behind her ear. "If at any point you decide you want out, just tell me and we will leave."

She smiled. He was so cute and made her feel so safe when he was defensive like this. "Okay," she said softly and they walked inside.

Twenty minutes later Elliot and Olivia sat at a table in a small interrogation room at the prison as they escorted a man in and cuffed him to the table. Olivia closed her eyes for a moment unable to face the man. But found the courage to open them again as she felt Elliot's hand squeeze hers under the table. She turned her head to face Elliot then opened her eyes to stare in to his. She nodded and smiled a weary smile at him as she looked back to them man sitting across from her at the table.

He was an older man, now and didn't look much like the mug shot she had found in the system. His hair was mostly gone on the top and his smoky grey eyes stared back at her. Olivia took a deep breath and shifted her eyes back to the file in front of her as Elliot stepped up and lead the conversation.

"Who the hell are you?" The unpleasant and hygienically challenged man growled from across the table.

It took everything Olivia had inside her not to break down and cry right there.

"Manhattan Special Victims Unit," Elliot said slipping in to cop mode. He dropped Serena's file on the table in front of him and her picture slid out. "We want to talk to you about this woman," Elliot said pointing to the picture.

"I ain't never seen that bitch in my life!"

"Sir, we have evidence that proves otherwise," Olivia spoke up softly.

"What evidence? Must have been planted."

"We have your DNA evidence found on her clothing and semen samples taken from her rape proves you were responsible." Elliot stared him down sure he could force a confession.

Olivia exhaled deeply as she felt tears rising again. She let Elliot run the conversation as she opened the man's file to try to build her courage up once more to talk to him. She had to do this and she had to do it now. She stared down at his face sheet in the file as her eyes scanned the information on the page. She should know it all by now, have it memorized. She and Elliot both had read the pages inside the file so many times the pages were all starting to curl.

She could hear Elliot raise his voice to the man, but she wasn't listening to their words. Her attention was focused solely on the page in front of her.

"You raped her! We know _you_ raped her! What is the point in lying about it now?"

"Yeah, I did her! That doesn't mean that I raped her! She was drunk and hot! We went down into a stairwell. It was dark. There was some kissing and we had sex. But she wanted it! When it was over she freaked out. Started screaming and cried and said I raped her!"

"She had bruises! And a busted lip!"

"I panicked. I was already in trouble. This bitch was saying I raped her and she was screaming it out. I shook her, hard. I was trying to get her quiet. I just wanted her to be quiet and let me think for a minute. I put my hand over her mouth and she bit me. Without even thinking I slapped her, hard in the face. That must have been when I busted her lip. Look, I was in the bar. She was drunk and she left with me willingly. I done a lot of things in my life I ain't proud of. But I didn't rape nobody!"

"Serena Benson had a dau…"

There it was crystal clear right there under Olivia's nose staring her in the face. It had been right there the entire time, yet somehow she and Elliot had both missed it every time.

"Elliot," she cut him off as she tugged on his sleeve. "Let's go."

He turned and looked into her eyes. "Now?"

"Right now," she nodded her head. "We are sorry to bother you sir," she said as she stood up and walked to the gate motioning for the guard to let them out.

In the car all the way back to her apartment Olivia sat quietly looking out the window. They climbed the stairs and went inside. Elliot watched her as the door shut. She dropped the file on the coffee table and walked to her bedroom pulling a chair to the closet to dig through some boxes on the top shelf.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"It was a lie," she said pulling a large shoebox from the shelf and returning to the living room. "The whole God Damned thing was a lie!"

"I'm not following you, Liv."

She sat the shoebox down on the table and picked the file up again. "I don't know how I missed it before, Elliot. How either of us had missed it all of these times. But there it is in black and white." She pointed to the bottom of the page.

"I still don't understand, Olivia."

"Look at his blood type, Elliot."

"Yeah?"

"There is no way this man could be my father." She tucked her hair behind her ears as she removed the lid from the shoebox to reveal over a hundred letters neatly tucked inside the shoebox still sealed.

"What is this?" Elliot asked.

"A box of letters they found when they cleaned out my mother's house before they sold it. The lawyer gave it to me, he said he thought I might want to hold on to it. They are all addressed to a man named David. No last name and no actual address. But she never talked about anyone named David. I never opened them. Infact I had forgotten about them all together until the ride home. There has to be some clue here as to who David is."

"What if he is your father?"

"Or what if he knows what happened? This is the only other lead I have. A hundred unopened love letters from my mother to someone named David that I have never heard of." She sat down and opened the first letter. She placed her hand against her forehead and exhaled as she began to read the contents of the four pages inside.

Two dozen letters later they still had nothing to go on. Elliot had been reading them as well and all they had really figured out was that David was a married man Serena had an affair with. These letters were mostly love poems and intimate details of their sex life. But so far nothing to even suggest a pregnancy. And they were only a quarter of the way through the box.

Olivia dropped her letter to the table and stared at the box. "So many lies!" She said softly. "Every word that woman ever said to me was a lie!" Her breathing began to quicken and her tears began to fall. "And now more than ever, I desperately need the truth. And there isn't any truth. Just more lies!"

She stood up and paced for a moment then looked back at Elliot still holding a letter in his hand.

"The answer is here Liv, in these letters. We just have to find it."

"No, Elliot! The only thing that is here is a God Damned Pandora's Box full of lies!" Olivia picked the box up from the table and threw is hard against the wall as envelopes and loose papers flew everywhere. She dropped to the floor and broke down crying.

Elliot laid the letter in his hand back down on the table then walked to her and sat beside her in the floor. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. She softly kissed the top of her head and combed his fingers through her hair. He knew how scared she was, because he was scared too. This was all so hard on her and it seemed as if everything was crashing down on her all at once.

A few minutes later she had calmed and sat up beside him. She took a deep breath and exhaled as she rubbed her fingers over her face and looked back at Elliot.

"You are right," he said softly.

She tipped her head to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"Pandora's Box," he said picking up the lid to the shoe box from the floor beside him. "It was full of evil and lies and when she took the lid off it all escaped and surrounded her."

He slid his hand in against hers and locked their fingers together. "But do you know what she found in the bottom of that box after all of the evil had escaped?"

Olivia looked into his eyes. "What?"

"Hope," he said leaning in and kissing her softly.

Olivia took a staggered breath as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I can't give up," she whispered softly.

"No," Elliot replied. "We have to keep looking."

She nodded her head and he kissed her once more. Then he helped her to her feet and they both began to pick up the letters from the apartment floor, now scattered and all out of order.


	5. 5 Promises In The Dark

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Five: Promises In The Dark)_

Elliot looked down at Olivia sleeping peacefully in his arms. He loved the way she felt with him. So natural, almost as if they had been together forever. He brushed a strand of her bangs to clear a place on her forehead and kissed it softly. He didn't ever want to know what it felt like to lose her. Part of him honestly didn't know if he could live with out her.

He looked up at the clock on the dresser. It was now well past three o'clock in the morning and he had been laying her in the pitch black darkness if his bedroom for hours unable to fall asleep. He was exhausted, but had way too many things on his mind for sleep to be an option. He had to find a way to help her.

Between them they had pretty much read all of the letters in the shoebox with very few clues as to who her father could be. The only real lead was the a man named David that Serena had apparently had an affair with years ago, before Olivia was even born. She had mentioned the names of a few of her close friends and Elliot had decided to try to contact some of them to find out if they knew who David might have been.

One woman, Alice Johnson, had been one of Serena's closest friends. Elliot was able to track her down and she and her husband were now residing in a little town near Los Angeles. After discussing it with Olivia, they had decided to try to fly out and talk to her in person rather than call her. Their flight was scheduled to leave around seven o'clock that morning.

Elliot smoothed his hands over Olivia's bare back and she trembled a little to his touch. He drew the blankets higher up around her shoulders and kissed her again. He could not believe that he had waited so long to be with her. He had been in love with her for years and for some reason hesitated to tell her so. He closed his eyes and tried once more to fall asleep.

A few hours later the alarm buzzed and woke them both up. He opened his eyes to see her big brown eyes staring into his. She moaned a little and smiled as she yawned.

"Good morning beautiful," Elliot said placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Good morning," she said with a smile.

"We have along day ahead of us."

"I know. I'm not really looking forward to a six hour flight."

"It was that or a two day car trip, I thought the flight would be easier on us both."

"I guess you're right."

She climbed out of bed and stumbled to the shower as Elliot started a pot of coffee. When she got out a little while later she fixed herself a cup of coffee and gathered her bags for the trip while Elliot showered. Then they were out the door and on their way to the airport.

They had both taken the next seven days off to have some time to focus on the matter at hand. Elliot cashed in some personal days and Olivia finally took her vacation. This was not exactly the way she had ever thought she would spend it. But this was what it was going to take to find the missing pieces to the puzzle she needed so desperately to solve.

She sat in a window seat staring down at the clouds below them thinking. Wondering her what if's and wishing more than anything that she hadn't waited so long to decide to take her relationship with Elliot to the next level.

She had always been cautious before, worried that if they had ever crossed that line and things went bad they would never be able to get their friendship back. But it was funny how one diagnosis could suddenly make her realize that nothing mattered more in the world than the way she felt for him.

What if that was it and that day were her last day, the one thing she would regret more than anything was not taking a chance on the one mane she had ever really loved. Then they took their chance and it was amazing. Both the physical and the emotional part of the experience. Elliot was everything she had ever dreamed of having both in a friend and in a lover. Unfortunately her days of happiness were numbered and she was in a race against time to find her father and pray that the man had enough compassion for his own flesh and blood to save her life.

Olivia sighed as she felt Elliot's hand slip in to hers. She looked at him and smiled.

"How are you feeling?" He asked sweetly.

"I'm good," she replied with a smile.

"You should try to relax and rest a little. We wont be there for several more hours."

Olivia leaned back in her seat and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Thank you for being her with me, El. I'm not sure I could face this alone."

He kissed her lips and smiled. "Do you think I would miss the chance to meet the man who fathered such a wonderful daughter?"

She smiled again and hugged his arm. "Well, you know we are not actually going to meet him. Just find this Alice woman and hope that she can tell us who he is. We still don't even know for sure that David is my father." Olivia paused for a moment deep in thought, as Elliot kissed her forehead.

"What baby?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking…wondering, I guess. Why would she say that the man who raped her was my father if he wasn't? I mean surely she would have known, right? If her affair with David happened after the alleged rape, then she should have known for sure. Why would she lie to me? To everyone."

"Maybe she didn't know for sure. Maybe she thought he was."

"Or maybe she was trying to hide the truth about my real father. But why?"

"I don't know. But hopefully Alice Johnson does."

Olivia stared into his eyes and nestled the side of her face in against his shoulder.

"I love you, Olivia."

She looked at him for a moment in silence then kissed his lips.

"I love you too, Elliot."

Elliot brushed his thumb over her lips and kissed her tenderly.

"Try to get some rest, Liv."

He kissed her forehead once more as he handed her a pair of earphones.

"Okay," she said softly.

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

Several hours later they arrived in Los Angeles. Elliot got them checked in to the hotel and Olivia made a call to Alice Johnson and set up a time for them to meet with her the next morning to speak with her about Serena Benson's case. Alice was very polite and agreed to a brunch with them at her country club around ten o'clock the next morning. Olivia was careful not to release her last name to the woman over the phone. She wanted to get the truth from Alice and she wasn't sure that was the story she would tell if she were aware that Olivia was Serena's daughter.

That evening Elliot took her to a nice romantic dinner and dancing in a ritzy restaurant, before heading back to the hotel to unwind for the evening. They stood together on the balcony and looked out at all of the city lights around them. It looked nothing like New York. Elliot held tight to her and kissed her lips, then lead her back to the bedroom of the suite to make love and fall asleep together.

The next morning he woke up holding her. He looked down at the angel sleeping in his arms and realized how badly he wanted to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of his life. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone in his entire life. He kissed her forehead and then her lips as her eyes opened slowly. She smiled at him.

"Good morning," she said with another smile.

"How did you sleep?"

Olivia laughed, "really well. I was wore out."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Umm hmm."

Elliot smiled a devious smile.

Olivia leaned in and kissed him as she crawled over him in the bed. She continued to kiss him seductively as he began to move his hands slowly over her body. She moaned softly at his touch as she sat up and arched her back and he slid his hands up her waist and on to her breasts.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as she lowered herself onto him.

She pressed her lips together and moaned softly as she moved on him. Elliot closed his eyes and before long was moaning with her. She moved her hands across his chest and gently dragged her fingernails against his abdominal muscles. Elliot moved one hand to cup her ass and guide her harder in to him. They started off slow then sped up the pace. Olivia leaned over him and pressed her mouth to his as she moaned out a little louder, obviously enjoying herself.

By now they could hear the sound of the bed moving with them and she smiled and laughed a little as she stared into his eyes. A few more minutes and Elliot rolled them over so he was on top of her again. He loved looking down on to her as he made love to her. She raised her knees up under his arms and moved her hands to claw at his lower back as she moaned and gasped in reaction to his thrusts. She kissed him passionately and stared into his eyes as if silently begging him not to stop.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered to her between moans and kisses.

"That, right there…." she moaned again, getting so close. "I want you. I just want you," she gasped between the gentle tapping sounds of the headboard against the wall.

A few minutes later she laid against his chest as they both tried to catch their breath. She pressed her ear to his chest and could hear his heart pounding inside.

"Well, good morning to you too," Elliot said with a smile.

Olivia laughed.

"What time is it?" She asked turning to look at the clock across the room. "It is still dark."

Elliot glanced up at the clock. "Four thirty."

He laughed.

"What is so funny?"

"I hope we didn't wake up the people in the next room."

Olivia smiled.

"Yeah well, they had better get some sleep before I get up the energy to do that again."

"You want to do it again, huh?"

"Maybe in a few hours," she replied with a smile and kissed him.

She took a deep breath and settled in against Elliot to try to fall back to sleep for a few more hours.

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Elliot felt her smile against his chest.

"I love you, too."

He raised her chin to look in to her eyes.

"I mean I really love you. More than I have ever loved anyone."

She smiled.

"I really love you, too."

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me. Be my wife. And make me the happiest man in the world."

Olivia pulled the blankets against her and sat up in the bed.

"Elliot….you can't propose just because we have had sex three times."

"Four times….what does sex have to do with it?"

"Elliot, please. I…I can't do this right now."

"Can't do what? Olivia, talk to me."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that the reason you just asked me to marry you has nothing to do with me being sick."

"I didn't propose because you are sick. Actually I didn't really propose yet."

She exhaled deeply.

"You couldn't just let it be what it was?"

"What sex? You look me in the eye and tell me that the reason you slept with me didn't have anything to do with you being sick."

She stared at him speechless for a moment.

"That isn't why I did it. Is that why you did it?"

"No. Olivia, I am in love with you. I have been for years. And I am sorry if I am a fool and it took the thought of possibly losing you to make me realize that I was ready to take a chance on this relationship. I have wanted this…you, for a long time. As long as I can remember. But I was always worried I would do something to mess it up and end up losing you completely. Yes, it took the fear of losing you for me to wake up and realize that I have been consumed by this amazing love for you and I don't want to know what living with out it is like. I want to spend every night with you in my arms and wake up each morning with you in them for the rest of my life."

"Or the rest of my life? Elliot, do you realize everything that you could be giving up if we did this?"

He watched as her tears started to rise.

"Do you realize everything that I would gain? Olivia, you are the love of my life. And I am a fool for going this long with out telling you that."

She stared into his eyes as a stream of tears fell from her eyes.

"It isn't fair," she whispered.

Elliot pulled her tight against him and held her there. He kissed the top of her head and looked down at her.

"I know baby," he whispered.

"There are so many things I never got to do. I am trying not to feel sorry for myself, but it is so hard when your dreams are shattered right in front of your face. I put off getting married and having babies and everything that I wanted. And now it's too late. I would have loved to have shared all of those things with you Elliot. But now….now it wouldn't be fair to you."

"Olivia, I love you. And I never would have asked you if I didn't want you to say yes. If I didn't want to spend every second of the rest of both of our lives as husband and wife."

Elliot pulled her back down to lay beside him. She laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes as she listened to the beating of his heart. He cupped his hand against the side of her face and she thought about how wonderful it would be to wake up in his arms every morning from now on. How even one last day with him would be better than a thousand days alone. Elliot combed his fingers softly through her hair.

"I'm just so scared, El."

"I know baby. But I am going to be here, right here next to you no matter what."

Olivia raised up to look at Elliot in the eye.

"You know that this is probably going to get really bad. And that even if I do fine him there is still a chance that he wont be a match or it wont work. But if I don't find him….then I'm not going to beat this. And I don't know how much longer I have."

"I know that. But I love you. And I want to spend every second I can, just loving you."

"Elliot, this is a really big decision. Maybe more so now that it usually is."

"Olivia, your answer is not going to change anything but your name. If you don't want to do this, I understand. But I wont stop loving you. I wont leave you or stop caring. And I don't want you to say yes if it is not what you truly want in your heart. But I am asking you to give me the chance to make at least one of your dreams come true. All I am asking is one promise. You and me and the rest of our lives together. Through thick and through thin, no matter what."

She gazed in to his eyes and tried to imagine how wonderful it would be to wake up next to him every morning for the rest of her life. Even if it were only a few months, they would be incredible. She took a deep breath and smiled.

"Liv, please just consider it."

"Yes."

"Yes, you will consider it?"

"Yes, I will marry you."

Elliot looked into her eyes and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"We're getting married?"

"We're getting married. But Elliot, I don't want a big thing. I would kind of rather it just be you and me. I'd like to have some us time before we have to share this with the rest of the world."

"Sounds good to me."

"Wait, if we get married at the courthouse in New York everyone is going to know about it in a matter of minutes. There isn't going to be any keeping it to ourselves."

"So lets do it before we go back."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about talking to Alice and getting the information we need from her. Then boarding the next flight to Las Vegas."

"Vegas?"

"It is only about an hour and a half flight from here. We could be there by this afternoon. Check in to a hotel. Have a little time to make a few arrangements and say _I do _by this evening. Then we would have the rest of our time off together as a little honeymoon in Vegas before we had to go back to work."

Olivia bit her bottom lip and considered it for a moment.

"I like that idea. But I don't want anything tacky. No themes and NO ELIVS."

"Okay."

"Do you really want to be married to me by this evening?"

"We could do it right now."

"No, I want a little time to plan a few things."

She laid down beside him on the bed.

Elliot laid down beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I cannot believe that by this time tomorrow I will be holding my wife."

Olivia smiled and kissed his lips.

"I can't wait."


	6. 6 Desperation & The Honeymoon In Vegas

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Six: Desperation & The Honeymoon In Vegas)_

A few hours later Elliot and Olivia met up with Alice Johnson at her country club for brunch. She was a petite woman with silvered hair and a few years older than Serena.

"You said on the phone that you wanted to talk about Serena Benson?"

"Yes," Olivia said quickly flashing her identification hoping that the woman wouldn't ask to see it again.

"Did they ever catch that monster?"

Olivia looked at Elliot.

"He's in prison, ma'am. We are actually investigating another man, a man named David. He may have been a boyfriend or someone she once had an affair with," Elliot waited patiently for his answer but the woman just blinked the shifted her attention to Olivia.

"You look like her, you know?"

"Who?" Olivia asked pretending she didn't already know the answer to the question.

"You mother, dear."

Olivia was quiet for a moment as tears began to rise in her eyes.

"The two of you were close."

"She was my best friend all the way through college. I was there with her the day you were born."

"You were?"

The woman nodded and winked.

"She was such a beautiful baby," she said looking at Elliot.

"I'm sure she was," he replied looking back at Olivia.

"I need to know who my father is."

"Oh my, Serena said she had explained this to you. She was attacked, raped and got pregnant. That man in prison who raped her is you father honey."

"No, he isn't."

"I'm afraid so."

Olivia took a deep breath and sighed. She was getting tired of always running in circles.

"Who is David?" She laid one of the letters on the table in front of them. The woman stared at her with a blank look. "Who is David?"

"I don't know any David."

Olivia felt a warm tear slide down her face, but she wasn't done yet. She would interrogate this woman with every last breath she had in her if is got her the information she needed. This woman was messing with the wrong people to be playing games. She obviously wasn't thinking about the fact that they interrogated people for a living. And Olivia had gotten quite used to getting her way.

Another deep breath and Olivia stared at the letter for a minute. Obviously she was going to have to play hardball. She stared at the letter until she could feel the tears as they poured harder down her face. Here goes nothing, she thought as she shifted her puppy dog eyes to look at the old woman.

"Please help us," she almost gasped. "I need to know who my father is."

It took everything she had in her to allow herself to cry like this in front of a complete stranger. She had trained herself not to long ago. Infact it wasn't until the last couple of years she had even allowed Elliot to see her cry.

"Your mother said that man was your father. I don't see how David had anything to do with this."

"You do know him?"

"I did. I have not heard anything from him in ages. Last I heard he was still back in New York."

"Who is he?"

"We had another friend in school. The three of us were close, Marjorie. She was a doll. David was her boyfriend."

"What was David's last name? I need to speak with him."

"Oh, I don't know. That was a thousand years ago. Besides, David wasn't his real name. It was a nickname or a middle name or something. But that was the only name Serena and I knew him by."

Olivia exhaled and wiped more tears away, but this time the tears were real.

"I have to find this man. He is the only one who might know who my father is."

"Honey, Serena was my best friend. We didn't keep secrets. She came to me the day they man attacked her and told me about the rape. Six weeks later she told me about her pregnancy. I was the one who talked her in to keeping the baby, you. She was going to have you and put you up for adoption. There weren't a lot of choices for unwed mothers back then. But she loved you. She was proud of you. I moved here just after I got married. You were about three, I think. Such a cute little thing with dark curls and your mama's brown eyes. You were Serena's daughter. Few people knew the truth of your father, it wasn't the kind of thing that you announce. So we just didn't talk about him."

"But he isn't my father. There is no way he could be. She didn't have a boyfriend or…or was there some other guy named David? Do you have any pictures of David?"

"No, I lost all of my pictures in our house fire several years back. I'm afraid that is all I know. He got an internship at a police department there in New York, wanted to be a police officer. He was the one who convinced Serena to report the rape."

Olivia raised her head and looked at Elliot with tired eyes.

"Well, thank you for your time ma'am. And if you remember anything else this is my number, please give me a call."

"I will, he's such a nice young man," she said looking at Olivia as if Elliot could no longer hear her because he was standing up.

They walked out to their rental car and climbed inside as Olivia slammed the door and tried not to break down.

"This was a total waste of a trip to California! I should have just called her and let her hang up on me!"

"Maybe not. Do you have your mother's file?"

"Yes," she reached into the back floorboard and opened a file box pulling the file and opening it. "What am I looking for?"

"The precinct she filed the rape report at."

"Got it."

"Does it have a phone number?"

"Umm, here."

Olivia pointed out the number and Elliot dialed it from his cell phone. He asked for information on a man by the first name of David who was an intern during the time Serena had reported the rape. After being on hold for several minutes he closed his phone and exhaled. He turned to look at Olivia as she waited for answers.

"They don't have anyone by that name on record having ever worked there. And he said that around that time they took in dozens of interns a year. It was kind of a trial run before entering the academy to see if they could handle the job."

"So we are nowhere? Great."

Olivia turned to look out the window.

"No, this is not over yet," Elliot said caressing the side of her face with his thumb. "When we get back to New York I am going down there to talk to them. It is a lot harder to blow someone off when they are staring you in the face. Don't give up baby."

She turned and looked into Elliot's eyes so full of love. She smiled and kissed him gently.

Four hours later Olivia wore a white satin evening gown and held a small bouquet of red and white roses as she stood looking into Elliot's eyes repeating her vows. Elliot booked them a beautiful honeymoon suite in a luxury hotel in downtown Las Vegas. Inside were three casinos, two restaurants, live entertainment and a small but beautiful wedding chapel ran by a justice of the peace.

They leaned in and kissed their first kiss as husband and wife. And Olivia had tears in her eyes. She hugged Elliot tight and he kissed her again. He paid the man and lead her by the hand to the elevator and back to their room. He picked her up and carried her over the threshold and laid her softly on the bed.

Olivia laughed as he swooped in and covered her neck and shoulders in kisses. She dropped the rose bouquet into the floor and placed her hands on his face as she kissed him back.

"I love you," she said softly gazing into the cool blue of her husbands eyes.

"I love you too, baby."

"Oh," she said pushing gently against him as she sat up. "I almost forgot. I got something."

"I did too," Elliot said as he got up from the bed and moved across the suite wheeling in the room service cart of iced champagne and fresh strawberries.

Olivia smiled as he popped the cork and it flew across the room.

"I'll be right back," she said walking into the bathroom.

She stared at herself in the mirror.

"Mrs. Olivia Stabler," she said with a proud smile. "Olivia Benson-Stabler….Detective Olivia Stabler," she smiled. "I like the sound of that." She spun around and opened up the shopping bag she had hidden under the sink.

She slipped off the white gown she had gotten married in. And stepped in to the floor length black satin and lace night gown. The gown had a slit over each hip and a matching black lace thong that was barely visible when she moved just right. She smiled again as she fluffed her curled and neatly pinned hair and reapplied her lip gloss. She misted her most seductive perfume into the air and stepped into the mist. She smiled and blew a kiss to herself in the mirror as she spun back around and walked back out to greet her husband.

Elliot was sitting on the edge of the bed eating a strawberry and sipping from his glass of champagne when a long, tan sexy leg appeared from the other side of the bathroom door. He smiled and raised his eyebrows in amazement as he turned and sat the glass down on the night stand.

A moment later the door opened slowly to reveal the most attractive woman he had ever seen in his life. The woman who was now his wife. Olivia smiled and stared him down with bedroom eyes as she walked slowly toward him.

Elliot raised his hands to rest against her hips as she stopped in front of him and looked down at him. He slid his hands up her legs and across her thighs as they moved around her hips and needed at her backside. He pulled her forward and kissed her flat stomach through the silky material. He kissed his was up and around under her left breast, still above the material.

Olivia tipped her head back and moved her fingers over his short hair. Elliot kissed his way up her chest between her breasts as he dropped the lacy black thong to the floor. Olivia moaned seductively and closed her eyes as he stood up slowly and pulled her body tight against his. She could feel his rock hard erection between them as he gnawed hungrily at the side of her neck.

One swift move and he had her on the bed once more she unbuttoned his white dress shirt and he fumbled with the button and zipper on his black dress pants. He was so turned on by her he had trouble getting his fingers to function well enough to work the zipper on his fly.

Olivia laughed at his attempt to keep it sexy. She moved her fingertips up and down over his bare chest waiting patiently for what he was about to give her.

"Would you like some help?" She almost purred to him.

Elliot rubbed his hand over his face almost embarrassed. He wanted nothing more than to lay her across the bed and give her the most pleasurable sex either of them had ever had consummating their marriage, but he couldn't even get his pants undone.

Olivia sat up and pulled his hips to her as she stared into his eyes. She moved her hand slowly over the top of his pants as she smiled up at him. She was torturing him and loving every second of it.

"Baby please," Elliot gasped as she popped open the button on the top of his pants and slowly reached her hand down the front of them. She moved her hand slowly where neither of them could see it but knew exactly where it was as Elliot groaned half in pain and half in incredible pleasure. She pushed his pants back allowing them to fall at his feet as she slid down his boxers and lowered her mouth over him.

"Oh God," Elliot moaned as she worked her magic. He closed his eyes and took the pin from her hair allowing it to fall around her face. Olivia raised her head to look up at him and Elliot caressed the side of her jaw with his thumb. She reached to the nightstand and finished off his glass of champagne. She smiled back up at him as she sat the empty glass back down and laid back on the bed.

Elliot moved his hand slowly under the slit in the dress as he spread her knees apart. He placed his hand against her ankle and slid it slowly up until he had reached the top. He knelt to the floor and kissed up her leg until he reached the top of the stocking. Olivia closed her eyes tight and gasped clawing at the edge of the mattress as she felt his warm tongue enter her body.

She pressed her bit her lip and whimpered in pleasure, so dangerously close to the edge as Elliot moved one hand over her abdomen and stared up at her. This was his payback for the torture she had just put him through. He brought her so close, then pulled back placing a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh.

Olivia gasped and shook her head at him as he pulled away from her. He smoothed his hands up her thighs once more and rolled down her black stockings before he raised up against her and slowly entered her. Pushing inside just a little then pulling back out again and making her beg for him.

"Baby," she gasped clawing at his chest in an attempt to pull him to her, "please."

"Please, what?"

"Elliot please," she whimpered reaching for him.

He pulled back once more.

"Elll…." she whined almost breathlessly.

"Tell me what you want," he said teasing her.

"You," she gasped.

"Me what?" He asked smoothing his hand down the inside of her thigh.

"You…inside me," she gasped.

And that was it.

Elliot raised up and slid slowly in to her again. This time going all the way inside her causing her to moan out a loud "yes," as she tipped her head back. She closed her knees tight around his waist as he thrust firmly and not too fast inside of her.

She clawed her fingernails down his back and moaned with every move he made. Elliot was right there with her moaning as he kissed her passionately in an attempt to muffle her cries of pleasure. Neither of them had ever had a sexual experience quite like this one. As they gasped and whimpered and moaned and came together.

Elliot fell beside her in the bed and just stared into her eyes. An exhausted Olivia curled up against her husband and fell asleep with her head on his chest. Three hours later they woke up to do it all over again.


	7. 7 Setback

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Seven: Setback)_

Elliot opened his eyes to see the sunlight starting to peek in around the heavy drapes hanging in their room. He looked across the room at the alarm clock, it was just after nine o'clock and the first time the had slept in in quite a while. He looked down at Olivia laying naked in his arms, her skin against his tangled together in a sheet. He smiled as he thought to himself that he wanted to wake up like this every morning from now on.

He shifted his eyes to the chair in the corner of the room, that chair was now covered with Olivia's black satin night gown from the night before. Somewhere between the second and third times they made love he had pulled it over her head and tossed from the bed in the dark. One of her black stockings was laying on the nightstand next to the now empty champagne bottle from the night before. His empty glass laid tipped over on its side next to the bottle and hers sat carefully back onto the nightstand on her side of the bed.

Elliot combed his fingers through her soft dark locks of hair and kissed the top of her head. He laid there for a little while watching her sleep in his arms. Olivia, his best friend, his partner, his wife. And last night was one of the best nights of his life. In comparison only to the day each of his children was born.

He thought a minute about their future together. He looked past now, further down the road after she had beaten this terrible curse that was hanging over her and they were able to move on with their lives together. He tried to imagine Olivia having their child. Sitting in a nursery rocking their little boy or maybe a brown eyed baby girl who looks like her mother.

He smiled and looked back down at her resting peacefully in his arms. She was so tired lately. Not that she didn't have a reason to be after last night, but all the time anymore she was wore out. He tried to deny it sometimes, but he knew this was her illness sneaking in on them. He had to find a way to help her and soon. Before their time together ran out and it was too late for him to save her.

Elliot exhaled slowly and raised her chin to kiss her forehead. She felt really warm. Too warm. He placed the back of his hand against her forehead to check again. She was definitely running a fever.

"Olivia, baby?" He said softly trying to wake her.

She stirred a little but didn't open her eyes. Elliot moved his hand over the bare skin on her back, she was burning up. He sat up and raised her to his arms in the bed.

"Liv, honey wake up."

She opened her tired eyes and gazed into his not having any clue what was going on.

"I thought we were going to sleep in, El."

"Baby, you're running a fever." Elliot pressed his palm to her forehead once more as he dialed the front desk to get the number of a doctor and the nearest pharmacy. He found a place just a few blocks away that delivered and ordered a thermometer and a bottle of Aspirin. Then he called the emergency room number.

Fifteen minutes later the pharmacy people arrived and Elliot was quick to get the thermometer into her mouth.

"One hundred and three. Damn it!" Elliot brought in cool wet wash cloths to put on her forehead. Then went to her bag and brought her clothes and helped her dress. "The doctor on call at the E.R. said that if the fever is over one hundred to bring you in and have you checked out. It could be nothing, but with your leukemia they just want to be safe."

Olivia nodded her head and slipped her shoes on as Elliot grabbed the room key and they headed downstairs to catch a cab. By the time the doctor in the emergency room saw her the fever was up to one hundred and four and they admitted her.

Elliot sat beside her bed watching her sleep as the nurses buzzed around in the hall way. It was now after three o'clock and no one had told him anything about Olivia's condition. He stepped out in to the hallway and asked a nurse to speak to the doctor.

Half an hour later a doctor came in and picked up Olivia's chart to review it. He introduced himself to Elliot and examined Olivia as she slept.

"Her temp has dropped back down. She is at just under one hundred. That is good." He said looking across the room at Elliot who was almost in tears.

"What happened? Is she going to be okay?"

"This time, yes. Anything could have triggered this fever. Allergies or even a simple cold. It is hard to say with leukemia. She needs to rest and get some fluids in her, but as long as that fever doesn't spike again we can probably release her tomorrow afternoon." He looked up at Elliot. "You guys are from New York?"

Elliot looked at him confused.

"I saw it in her medical file, her address in Manhattan."

"We are here on our honeymoon. We got married yesterday."

"Congratulations. Dose your wife have a physician back in Manhattan that she sees regularly for this?"

"Yes."

"Then I would say your best bet is to get her back home soon so that she can see her own doctor. He knows more about their treatment plan and what she has chosen to do. I have her on some antibiotics now to help fight off infection and an IV to help keep her hydrated. She is going to want to sleep for a while. But she is stable and I assure you she is going to be okay."

"Will it be okay for her to fly?"

"Well, normally I wouldn't recommend it. But seeing as New York is about a two day drive from here, a six hour flight would probably be easier on her."

"Okay, I will get her back home as soon as she is released."

"She should be feeling a little better in a few hours. I am here all night if you have any questions."

"Thank you, doctor."

It was close to eight o'clock when Olivia finally opened her eyes. Elliot smiled and moved in to kiss her softly.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered to her.

"Hi," she replied softly.

"Everything is going to be okay. The doctor said as long as we keep this fever down you can be discharged tomorrow. But he thinks we should get back home so that you can see your regular doctor."

"Elliot, I'm sorry."

"Oh baby, don't be. Honey, you're sick. You cant control this. But I am going to take care of you."

"So the honeymoon is over, huh?"

"No sweetheart. We're just going to move it back to New York."

She smiled as he leaned in and kissed her.

"Oh," he said, "I almost forgot. I had this delivered while you were asleep. I hope you like it."

Elliot handed her a small gift box and Olivia smiled. She untied the ribbon on the top of the box and took off the lid to reveal a jewelry box. Inside the jewelry box was a diamond ring and matching wedding band.

"Oh, Elliot.!"

"What do you think?"

"They are beautiful."

"I have mine here in my pocket." He opened his ring box and showed her the matching man's ring for the set. "I picked them out yesterday before the wedding. But they had to be sized, so they were not ready in time. Our wedding package came with that little cheap ring that we used in the ceremony. But I wanted to get you a diamond and I wanted a ring that didn't turn your finger green."

Olivia laughed.

"I still like this one too," she said as Elliot slipped it off her hand and replaced it with the diamond ring and wedding band."

"I'll put this one on a chain for you so you can wear it, too."

"That would be great," she said with a smile as she slipped his wedding band on his finger. "I love you so much, Elliot."

"I love you, too baby."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really," she said softly.

"Liv, you should eat something. You haven't eaten all day."

"I really don't want anything."

"I can order in or go pick something up for you baby, but you have to eat something. What sounds good?"

Olivia looked at him and smiled a tired smile. He could tell she still wasn't feeling well.

"What about soup? Can you at least try to eat it if I order it for you?"

"I will try. Oh and grilled cheese. With ranch dressing."

"That's my girl," Elliot kissed her and headed down to the cafeteria to bring back her food. Olivia managed to eat half a sandwich and some of the soup then started to get nauseated.

She laid back in the bed and closed her eyes. She could not believe that she had slept all day and still felt exhausted. She looked up at Elliot watching her from the chair across the room. She smiled and patted the bed beside her. He walked over to her and sat on the edge of her bed, then wrapped his arm tightly around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you," he said looking into her eyes.

"I love you, too. Not exactly how you expected to spend the second night of our honeymoon, huh?"

"No, but as long as I am with you I'm happy."

Elliot curled up beside her in the bed and held her tight as they both fell asleep.

The next day after Olivia was discharged from the hospital they flew back to New York and returned home.


	8. 8 Surprise Visit

_**Truth And Deception**_

_**(Chapter Eight: Surprise Visit)**_

**The following day Olivia was feeling much better. Elliot was trying to find a way to make up the honeymoon without leaving town. He came in from the grocery store and tossed his keys on the counter. He put away the groceries then reached to pick up his keys. **

**That's it, he thought as he looked down at his key ring. Laying on the top of the pile of keys was the key Cragen had given him to the cabin a few years back so that he could take Dickie camping and fishing out there. It was perfect. No one knew they were even in town. If they packed up a few things and went to the cabin, they would be close enough to town if he needed to get Olivia to her doctor but he could also make it a last minute romantic get away for his new bride.**

**Elliot went into the bedroom to talk to Olivia. She was in the bathroom soaking in a hot bubble bath. **

"**I have an idea."**

"**What's that?"**

"**Cragen's cabin. No one knows we are even in town, Liv. We could sneak off to the cabin for the next few days and have our own little mini vacation. Finish off our honeymoon."**

**She smiled at him. "That sounds good."**

"**Okay, I will start packing and make a list of things we need. When you get out of here we'll go by the store and head out."**

"**I'm excited. Four days alone with you in a cabin in the middle of nowhere."**

**Elliot kissed her tenderly. "I love you baby."**

"**I love you, too."**

**They spend the next few days at the cabin just laying around sleeping late and making love all night. They couldn't get enough of each other. On day three Elliot made them dinner and opened a bottle of wine as they laid on a blanket in front of the fire place watching the flicker of the flames and just holding each other.**

**Before long one thing had lead to another and Elliot had undressed her and was on top of her in the floor making love to her again. A thin sheet laid across his waist and her hands clawed their way down his strong back with each thrust inside of her. Olivia closed her eyes and tipped her head back as he raised up over her and continued to move inside her.**

**They were both moaning in pleasure and gasping for breath when all of a sudden the front door came open and the light turned on. Olivia's eyes shot open as Elliot fell over her in an attempt to cover her and he pulled her chest against his revealing her bare back to the intruder. Olivia closed her eyes and buried her face against Elliot's shoulder as she heard a familiar voice.**

"**Elliot what the Hell are you doing?" **

**Elliot placed one hand against the back of her head and his other arm was around her waist still holding her body against his to cover her.**

"**Making love to my wife," he replied looking up at Cragen.**

**Olivia opened her eyes and stared at Elliot waiting for Cragen to either leave the room or say something. He just stood there for a few minutes in shock, then turned and walked back outside.**

"**Oh my God," Olivia said as she dropped back to the floor. "Our boss just caught us having sex."**

"**And it was good too."**

"**Way to keep a secret, El." She laughed as she sat up and reached for her shirt pulling it on. **

"**He caught us Liv. I was inside you, we were naked, rolling around in the floor together and moaning. It was pretty obvious what was going on. And I figured before he yells at us about the sex I might as well tell him we're married."**

**She looked at Elliot and laughed. "This is more than a little humiliating."**

"**Yeah, it's also disappointing. We were just getting to the good part."**

**Olivia stood up as Elliot zipped his jeans and pulled his tee shirt on.**

"**You should go out there and talk to him," she said as she folded up the blanket.**

"**No way, you go."**

"**Why me?"**

"**Because he won't kill you."**

**She laughed again and exhaled.**

"**Okay, I will go. You go start coffee, I have a feeling we are going to need it."**

"**I'm on it."**

**Olivia slipped her shoes on and walked slowly out to Cragen's car. She opened the door and climbed into the passengers seat and closed the door behind her.**

"**Elliot too scared to come out here?" Cragen said softly. He knew them so well.**

"**Yup," she replied staring at the dash board.**

"**How long has this been going on?"**

"**Not long. A few months. But we have been in love with each other for years."**

"**I know. I figured something would eventually happen. I just never thought I would walk in on it while it was happening."**

"**I'm sorry. We didn't think anyone would come here."**

"**Yeah, I could tell. The people down the road drove past today and saw the car. They called me to come check it out."**

**Cragen reached over and picked up her hand looking at the diamond as it glistened in the moonlight.**

"**Nice ring."**

"**Thank you. We got married three nights ago."**

"**Congratulations. Was it nice?"**

"**Small. But nice, yes. That was the way I wanted it. Just he and I."**

"**And he is taking good care of you?"**

"**Yes."**

"**He'd better."**

"**When are you guys coming back to work?"**

"**Monday morning."**

"**I'll see you then. You can break your news to everyone else."**

**Olivia nodded.**

"**Do you want to come in for some coffee?"**

"**No, I'll head back and let you two have some time alone." **

"**Good night," she said as she stepped out of the car.**

"**Good night, Liv."**

**She closed the door and Cragen drove away.**

**Olivia ran her hands over her face and exhaled deeply. What a night! **


	9. 9 Finding Answers

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Nine: Finding Answers)_

The next morning Elliot climbed from the bed and got dressed. He leaned across the bed and kissed his wife.

"Liv," he said softly.

"Hmm?" She mumbled half asleep se she opened her eyes just a little.

"I have a few things I need to take care of before we head back to work. I'm going to run get some stuff done and I'll bring back some lunch when I return in a couple of hours."

She sat up a little and he kissed her.

"Do you want me to get dressed and come with you?"

"No angel, you try to get some rest. Your phone is here, call me if you need me I can be here in twenty minutes."

"Okay," she said with a smile.

"I love you baby," Elliot said as he leaned in and kissed her again.

"I love you, too."

"I'll call you on my way back to see what you want to eat, so be thinking about that."

Olivia laughed. "I will."

She laid back in the bed and Elliot pulled the blankets back up around her shoulders and kissed her goodbye.

Elliot headed back to the city to try to track down this David guy. And he was going to start at the 23rd Precinct. Where David had been an intern and Serena had reported her rape all of those years before.

Elliot parked his car and walked in to the front desk and showed his badge asking to see to speak with someone about Serena Benson's rape case. The woman behind the desk pointed to a row of chairs and asked him to wait until she could find someone to speak with him.

Elliot sat for two and a half hours waiting, but refused to leave. This was too important and he had too much to lose to walk away now. He had to find David. Finally a man with a moustache walked out and introduced himself as the Captain of the 2-3 and showed Elliot to his office.

Elliot followed him back and took a seat in front of the man's desk. After twenty minutes of questioning and fighting off the bullshit the man attempted to give him Elliot stood up to leave, ashamed to have to go back and tell Olivia that his attempt at tracking down David had failed. They had allowed Elliot to see Serena Benson's file and the report on her rape, but it held only photo copies of the information they already had. He was getting nowhere.

Elliot followed the man back out of his office and through a long hallway toward the front of the precinct. As they walked Elliot noticed a collection of pictures along the walls and studied them carefully.

"What is this picture of?" He asked the captain about a photo of a group of officers gathered together in a group and the year the picture was taken was printed neatly at the bottom of the photo.

"Those are the pictures of the interns from a program we used to do. But we stopped doing the program back in the mid eighties."

"Do you have pictures from every year?"

"Downstairs filed away somewhere."

"Can I get a look at the file for the date that Serena Benson filed her report?"

"I don't have the manpower to send someone to dig around the file room all day for a picture for a case that has been cold for over forty years."

"You don't have too. Just point me in the right direction and I will find it myself. Please, it is very important."

"Down this hall and to the left. Take that elevator down to the basement. Tell the file clerk what you are looking for and he can at least head you in the right direction. But I am warning you, half of those files have not even been entered into the computer system yet and things are all mixed up. Things are not always where you would expect to find them. Good luck. I hope you find what you are looking for."

Elliot thanked the man and was on his way to the basement, starting to feel as if he were completely lost on this scavenger hunt in the search for the true identity of Olivia's father. He stepped out of the elevator and approached the desk of the file clerk. The man lead him about sixty or seventy rows back in a room of about a hundred rows of file cabinets of the information that was not yet in their computer system. He pointed down the row and told Elliot roughly where to look to find the information he was seeking. Elliot took a deep breath and walked to the area as he opened a file cabinet and began to flip through the files. This was going to take a while.

Three hours later Elliot found the file. He pulled it from the cabinet and laid it on top as he opened it and flipped through the pages inside. In the back clipped to the file with a paperclip was the photograph he was searching for. He pulled it from the file and stared down at the twelve men in the photograph.

His eyes scanned over each of their faces examining them closely. One of these men could be Olivia's father. He continued inspecting the photograph as his eyes found a familiar face in the crowd. Elliot flipped the picture over and looked at the label on the back scanning through the list of the men's names. He closed the file and placed it neatly back into the drawer. Then tucked the photograph under his shirt and walked quickly from the building.

He drove across town and back to their precinct. There were a few details he needed to check into and he knew that somehow this picture was the key of this investigation. Elliot stepped off the elevator and walked into Captain Cragen's office without knocking.

"Elliot, is there something I can help you with?"

"I need your help, but I can't tell you why. All I can say is it is important."

"I will do what I can. What's going on?"

Elliot dropped the photograph on the desk in front of Cragen.

"I need you to tell me which one of these men is David."

"What?"

"I need to know who David is and I need to know now."

Cragen picked up the photograph and flipped it over looking at the back and the list of names.

"None of them are, Elliot their names are all right here."

"Yes, but it would have been a nick name or a middle name, not necessarily a first name."

Cragen sat quiet for a minute then looked up at Elliot.

"I don't think I can help you, Elliot. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Elliot stood up and walked out of the room carrying the picture in his hand. He sat in the car and called Olivia. He picked up some take out and headed back to be with her for their last evening off before they had to go back to work.

The next morning Olivia had to go to court with Fin. Elliot took the time to use his computer and run the names of the men on the back of the photograph to see if any of they had ever used the name David. But he found nothing. He knew there must be something there. He could feel it. Somehow this was the key. He stared at the screen ahead of him and punched in the only name he had not yet run. Donald Cragen. The search screen popped up Donald David Cragen, then his picture and personal information.

Elliot printed the page and took a deep breath as he grabbed the photograph and returned to Cragen's office.

"You lied to me," he said as he dropped the face sheet on the desk in front of him.

"My middle name is David. But I never went by it."

Elliot stared at him.

"You knew Serena Benson?"

"She was a friend of my wife's. Well, Marge wasn't my wife at that time."

Elliot dropped into the chair in front of Cragen's desk with a look of shock on his face. Things were quiet for several minutes as Elliot tried to figure out how to proceed with this conversation.

"I worked with Serena when she came in and reported her rape."

"Did you date her?"

"No."

"You slept with her?"

"Elliot, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"Did you sleep with her? Just answer the question!"

Cragen was quiet for a few minutes.

"They were still in college. Serena was raped and she and I started to talk afterward. I became someone she trusted. She didn't have any family, all she had were her friends Marge and a woman named Alice. She and I got to know each other from them all being friends. Marge and I split up for a little while before we got married, a couple of months. One night Serena called me crying from a payphone and asked me to come pick her up. When I got there she said that she had seen the man who raped her on the street and asked me to drive her home. She was afraid and asked me to stay. One thing lead to another. We had a short romance, only a few weeks. Then we both started feeling guilty for what we were doing to Marge. I was supposed to marry Marge and Serena was one of her best friends. We were only together a couple of times. I think mainly she was just afraid of being alone and wanted someone to hold her. Marge and her friends called me David. I didn't even know her last name. Infact, I never saw her again. I heard through Marge that she had gotten pregnant by that man who raped her. The minute Olivia walked in here for her interview, I knew she was Serena's daughter."

"Did you ever think she was your daughter?"

"No. Her father was the man who raped Serena."

"No, he isn't. There is no way he is her father. And if she wasn't with anyone else, that only leaves you."

Cragen thinking about it.

"She's mine," he said softly.

Elliot raised his eyes to look at his boss.

"What?"

"Marge and I were told we would never have children. I had tracked Serena down shortly after Olivia was born. She was just a tiny little thing. I asked Serena then if the baby was mine. She told me no. And I let it go. But I thought about her all of the time. That baby growing up without a father. And what I would have done if she was mine. But none of that mattered, because Serena had already told me that her father was the man who attacked her that night."

Cragen stared deep into Elliot's eyes as he told the story.

"Anyway, a few years ago after Serena had passed away it came in to my mind again. And this time it wouldn't go away. I had the lab run my DNA against hers for a paternity test. I didn't give them any names or reason. They matched."

"You knew. All this time, you knew and you didn't tell her?"

"I was working my way through a twelve step program and my life was shit. I had nothing to offer her. Olivia had just lost her mother. I had no idea how to tell her. So I didn't. But I watched over her. I tried to get closer to her and to know her better. I missed out on her entire life. And worse is finding out all of the hard times she had to go through and knowing that I could have helped her if I were there. If I had known."

"You have to tell her now!"

"Why, Elliot?"

"Because she deserves to know! She needs her father! She has been searching all of her life for her father! And I cannot believe that you knew and knew she was looking for him, thinking he was some horrible monster and you didn't tell her!"

"I was a horrible monster, Elliot! I was a drunk. And do you really think that growing up in the world that she did she would want anything to do with her father if she knew he was a drunk?"

"It's better than a rapist! You let her believe that she was the product of Serena's rape. That she was conceived out of hate and rage. Even after you knew the truth. Do you have any idea how that has effected her?"

"I fell in love with Serena. But she wouldn't stay with me. I was engaged to her best friend. And as much as I knew it would have destroyed Marge, I wanted that baby to be mine. I wanted that beautiful little girl to have a father. I wanted to be her father either way. But Serena packed up her things and she left. I never saw her again. And I never told Marge about my relationship with her."

"You need to tell Olivia. I could do it. But she needs to hear it from you. She has been searching for you all of her life."

Elliot stood up and looked through the office window as Olivia walked back into the bull pen and sit down at her desk. He turned to see Cragen standing beside him with tears in his eyes looking at her as well. Elliot patted him on the back and headed back out to work.

Elliot sat down at his desk across from Olivia and looked up at her.

"What was that all about?" She asked with a worried look.

"About a case," he said staring into her eyes.

Olivia smiled at him and he smiled back running his finger around her ring finger where her wedding band had laid the night before.

He stood up and looked at her, "meet me in the locker room in a few minutes."

"Okay."

Elliot walked toward the locker room and sat down on a bench waiting for her to come in. Olivia walked in a few minutes later and locked the door behind her.

"El, what's going on? Did Cragen ask you about that thing back at the cabin?"

"We just talked." Elliot pulled her onto his lap. "You need to talk to him Olivia."

"Did you tell him I was sick?"

"No. But you should. He really needs to know."

"Elliot, I don't know."

"Liv, he cares about you. And he needs to know the truth."

"You're right."

"I can go in there with you if you'd like. For support. But you need to go in there and talk to him and tall him."

"I will."

She laid her forehead against his and stared into his eyes.

"I love you," she said with a soft smile. "And I love being your wife."

"I love you too baby. And I love having you as my wife."

"Good, because you're stuck with me now."

"Good," he said kissing her lips.

Olivia laughed.

"We'd better get back out there before someone goes looking for us."

"We need to tell them that too. I don't like us not being able to wear our wedding rings at work."

"I thought we could just put our rings back on and let them find out," she suggested.

Elliot laughed.

"You have a better idea?"

"What if we get everyone together after work for dinner or something. Then just made the announcement."

"That works for me as long as I can put my rings back on."

Elliot smiled and kissed her. Then they headed back out to their desks.

About half an hour later Cragen stepped out of his office and looked at them.

"Olivia, can I see you in my office please?"

She looked over at Elliot as she stood up and walked in, closing the door behind her

Elliot stood up and watched as Cragen walked over to her and began to speak with her. Olivia stared back at him and nodded her head for a few minutes. Then Cragen walked back behind his desk and began to speak again. Olivia stared at him and raised her hand to her mouth and turned to look at Elliot with tears in her eyes. Elliot knew then that Cragen had told her his secret. He took a deep breath and sat back down at his desk and waited for her to come back out.

Olivia sat down in the chair and looked up at Cragen across the desk from her. She pressed her lips together and took a deep breath before she began to speak.

"How long have you known?"

"A few years. I didn't know how to tell you."

"You knew. You knew I was looking for him and you still didn't tell me?"

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I didn't know how. How do you tell someone you have known for years that you just found out that you are her father?"

She was crying. Relieved and happy and not knowing what to expect.

"How did you… Did she tell you?"

"No. I knew your mother around the time she was attacked. We were only together for a couple of weeks. I was broke up from Marge. Marge was her best friend."

"Marjorie," Olivia said in realization raising her hand to her forehead.

"Yes. I barely knew her, Olivia. But we got close. She felt safe with me and had no one. I fell in love with her. But, she broke it off. She couldn't have a relationship with her best friends ex-boyfriend. She contacted Marge several months later and said something about being pregnant. Almost a year later I found her. You were just a little baby."

Olivia began to cry again.

"I held you in my arms and asked her if you were mine. She said no. She was sure she had gotten pregnant during the attack."

"How did you find out?"

"After your mother passed away. I was thinking about it again. I couldn't get it off my mind. Then one day you cam in wearing a necklace, a little gold heart with the inscription _my one true love _on it."

"My mother gave it to me before she died."

"I gave it to her. After I saw that I had them run both our DNA for a paternity test. I didn't give them any names, they assumed it was for a case. They were a match, Olivia."

Olivia turned away from him and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Did she know?"

"I don't know."

"Why would she tell me all of my life that monster was my father?"

"Maybe she honestly thought he was. Honey, if I had known…I never would have let you go through life without a father. I would have been there for you. You are my daughter, Olivia."

"It is just so strange….to think that we…"

"I know, sweetheart."

Cragen walked around the desk and placed his hand on the side of her face.

"Olivia, I'm proud of you. Of the strong and wonderful woman you have become. I wish I had been there for you when you were growing up. I would like to have a relationship with you. Not just as your boss or your friend Olivia, but as your father. If that is okay with you."

"Umm, yeah. I want to know you better. I just don't know how long it is going to take me to get used to the idea of you being my father. I have gone my entire life with out one."

"You had one baby. And I thought of you every single day. That little baby girl with the big brown eyes. And the first time I saw you, when you walked in here to interview I knew you were Serena's daughter. You look a lot like her."

"I'm getting that a lot lately."

They both laughed.

Olivia brushed her hands over her face and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Actually there is something I need to tell you, too."

"What is it, Liv?"

She took a deep breath and looked at him.

"A little over a month ago, I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia."

"Leukemia?"

"Yes."

"How do they treat it?"

"I need a bone marrow transplant. But I have to find someone who is a match or it wont work. That is why I was trying so hard to locate my father."

"Olivia, I will do anything you need me to."

"They have to do a test, to see if you are a match. But you being my biological father would be my best chance because I get half of my DNA from you. If you are a match, then I do a round or two of Chemotherapy and then go in for the transplant. It will still take a while before they know if it worked. It is not guaranteed to work, but it is the best chance I have. Without a transplant, most people die within just a few months of showing symptoms."

Cragen brushed a piece of hair from her eyes.

"I guess I have a few calls to make." He stood up and kissed his daughter on the forehead. "I am going to be here for you Olivia. No matter what."

She smiled at him.

"You always have been," she replied as she leaned in and hugged him.

Donald Cragen held his daughter in his arms for the first time since she was a baby.


	10. 10 Moment Of Truth

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Ten: Moment Of Truth)_

It had been four days now since the true identity of Olivia's father had been revealed to them. Donald Cragen had acted quickly to have himself tested to see if he were a possible match to be a bone marrow donor for his daughter and now they just had to wait for the results to come in.

Olivia sat at her desk chewing the cap of her pen. She couldn't seem to focus on work with the weight of everything in her personal life on her mind. But sitting around at home waiting wasn't going to help anything either. She shifted her eyes up to look in the window of Cragen's office to catch him staring at her, then she quickly looked back down at her desk.

Neither of them had really spoken much about it. They had just kind of excepted it and just gone on with their lives the only way they knew how. For now this was where they were both comfortable. Infact they hadn't shared the news, _any _of the news with anyone else at work yet. Not only was Elliot the only other one to know he was her father, but they hadn't managed to tell anyone else about their marriage or her illness, yet. Olivia knew it would all have to come out eventually, she just wasn't quite ready yet.

She tipped her head to look at Elliot across the room. He was the one thing that had helped her stay sane through all of this mess. He winked at her as she mouthed the words 'I love you' in his direction. She exhaled deeply and stretched her hands out in front of her on the desk palms down and laid her forehead against the cool of the wood.

Part of her felt stranger to him. Another part felt guilty for even expecting such generosity from someone she had only known as her father for a couple of days. Olivia's thoughts were disrupted when the elevator doors opened. She watched as the kid from the lobby downstairs delivered the mail, carrying a stack of letters into Cragen's office.

Olivia's breath caught in her throat as Cragen appeared in the office door and motioned for she and Elliot to enter the room. She laid her pen down beside the file she was supposed to be reviewing for court the next day and slowly pushed her chair away from her desk as she walked toward his door. She looked up at Elliot nervously as they reached the door at the same time. For the first time in public he reached out to her holding her hand in his and kissed her cheek.

They stepped inside the office and closed the door behind them. Olivia stared down at the floor as Cragen began to speak.

"I just got it, I thought you two should be in here when I opened it."

Olivia closed her eyes and held her breath as she heard the sound of the envelope ripping open. She felt Elliot's hands placed supportively on her shoulders and her warm tears as they began to stream from her face. This was it. The moment of truth. The one letter that would for better or worse change her life forever. Then she heard his words.

"I'm a match," Cragen said with excitement as Elliot pulled his wife into his arms and held her tight.

Olivia broke down crying burying her face into his shirt as he rocked her in his arms. Cragen made his way from behind the desk and kissed the top of her head gently. Olivia raised her eyes to look at him and he was crying as well. She looked into his eyes and for the first time she saw the father he had wanted so badly to be all of those years. The father she had so desperately needed and now had.

She pressed her lips together and shook her head unable to speak. She forced a smile and brushed tears from her cheek.

"I don't….I don't know what to say," she said softly staring at him.

"You don't have to say anything, honey. I am just glad that I can help." Cragen took a deep breath. "So how do we get this started. Do we just call and schedule the surgery?"

"Umm….no. I will have to contact my doctor and I have to start Chemotherapy for a few days first. They will probably want you in for a physical and maybe some other tests before hand, I'm not sure. This surgery is not going to be easy on either of us. It is very rough. And it will be about six weeks before they will know if it even worked."

"Well, then we should get started." Cragen smiled at the sparkle of hope in her eyes.

Olivia smiled back at him.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"It's the least I can do, Liv. You know, I would have done this anyway. The part about me being your father was just an added bonus."

She raised her big brown eyes and gave him a shy smile, in that moment he saw Serena Benson, the woman he had fallen in love with all of those years ago.

That evening the crew went out for drinks after work. Elliot caught Olivia as they walked into the bar and pulled her aside from the group.

"What's up El?"

He said nothing, just slipped the small diamond ring and matching band on her finger and kissed her lips.

"I don't want to hide it anymore. I want the world to know that you are my wife and I love you."

She smiled and kissed him.

"I love you, too."

Elliot laced his fingers in hers and proudly lead her back to the table where their friends sat. He stood with her hand still in his and cleared his throat. Everyone looked up at him and he made his announcement as he held her hand up and kissed it. The people at the table were all quietly in shock for a moment before he heard a slow applaud begin to raise. Elliot grinned like a fool and kissed her right there in front of everyone.

They spent the rest of the evening sitting as close as the could to each other with his arm around her and his fingers laced in hers.

That night Elliot sat in bed reading as Olivia smoothed soft musk scented lotion over her skin. She closed the cap and put the bottle back into her night stand. She looked across the bed as her husband and smiled as she crawled seductively in his direction and closed his book sitting it on his night stand and pressing her lips to his.

"Baby, are you sure?" He mumbled between kisses.

"I'm sure," she said with a smile as she leaned in closer to him. "It seems like it has been forever since you touched me."

"You have just been so tired lately."

"Elliot, I am fine. Besides, we need to do this while we can. I start my Chemo tomorrow and in about a week I will have my surgery, I don't know when I will feel up to it again. And we are still newlyweds."

Elliot leaned up and kissed her tenderly as he slid his hands over the curve of her ass above her pink plaid flannel pajama pants. Olivia moaned in anticipation and squealed as her rolled her over and tossed her to the bed.

He smoothed his hands around the waist band of her pajama pants raising her cotton candy pink tank top and kissing the soft skin of her belly underneath. He worked his way down as he pulled her pants off and dropped them into the floor leaving her only in the pink tank top and matching cotton boy short panties.

Olivia wrinkled her nose and twitched her foot back and forth as he kissed the inside of her thigh and moved his fingers slowly over the thin pink cotton barrier of her panties, allowing her to feel him with out his actually touching her.

She moaned softly and tipped her head back as he kissed back upward searching under the tank top until he found both of her perfect breasts, needing them firmly with his hands as he kissed and sucked gently on them. Within moments he had one nipple in his mouth gently biting and sucking at it as his tongue flicked rapidly over it. He moved quickly to the other breast offering it equal attention until she moaned loudly and grasped at his tee shirt.

Elliot sat up and pulled his tee shirt over his head, then pulled her tank top off as well. He stared down at the exotic beauty under him as she smiled up at him caressing the side of his face with her hand. She pulled his jaw back toward her and pressed her lips to his once more.

Elliot pulled down her cotton panties kissing downward once more until his mouth brushed gently against her opening. With one hand he caressed the inside of her thigh and used the other to hold her knees apart as she trembled to his warm moist breath against her sensitive skin.

Elliot moved his fingers slowly against her as she moaned to his touch. He slipped them into her feeling her warm wetness waiting for him. He raised her knee sliding her legs just a little further apart as he slipped his tongue inside causing her to moan and raise her back up off the bed. Elliot settled between her thighs as he licked and sucked on her clit. He listened as her breathing became short and raspy and watched her squirm and bite her lower lip trying not to scream out to him.

"Oh Ellllll," she moaned softly as she brushed her fingertips over his shoulders and rocked her hips against him. "Oh baby."

Elliot smoothed his hand over her belly once more and could feel the moist sweat begin to bead up on the surface of her skin. Olivia curled her toes and moaned through an orgasm, but he kept going. A few more seconds and she was trembling at his mercy.

Elliot kissed his way back up her belly and across her neck before placing passionate kisses on her lips again. Olivia giggled just a little as she felt his erection against the inside of her leg through his boxers. She rolled him back over and pinned his hands to the mattress as she slipped below the blankets. Elliot moaned as her hand appeared again and tossed his boxers over the side of the bed.

He watched her hand as it stretched upward from below the blankets and her fingertips danced around his navel. Then he moaned as she moved her warm mouth over the shaft of his penis and continued to kiss and suck on it until he could barely contain himself. She pulled back just long enough to push back the blankets and lower herself onto him.

As she did she clawed her fingers over his chest a continued to rock her hips against him. Their mouths crashed together and breathing was rapid as they both began to moan. Elliot flipped her back onto the bed and raised her leg holding her calf muscle in one hand as he entered her again. From this angle he could reach deeper and further into her body.

He could feel her warmth and wetness with each thrust inside her. He would go slow, then speed up just a little, then faster, then slow again almost in waves bringing her so close but not allowing her to slip over the edge.

Olivia could not remember the last time she had experienced sex like this. She looked up at Elliot and was immediately lost in the cool blue of his eyes. He raised up hitting her in exactly the right place as she moaned and trembled and clawed at his back. Elliot felt her muscles begin to contract around him once more as he sped up his movements sending them both over the edge.

A few moments later he fell into the bed next to his wife as she laid across his chest and giggled at the thought of their sheer exhaustion.

"God Elliot, that was amazing."

He smiled and kissed her as he wrapped his arm tight around her and caressed her bare back with his fingertips. Olivia placed baby kisses over his chest and stared up at him in adoration as he kissed her forehead. Moments later she laid her head against his chest and closed her tired eyes.

Elliot combed his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. "I love you baby," he whispered softly against her ear as he kissed her cheek.

"I love you too," she replied with a yawn.

Before long her breathing was in sync with his and they had both fallen asleep.


	11. 11 Fighting For A Future

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Eleven: Fighting For A Future)_

It was around two o'clock in the morning when Olivia woke him up for round two. This time he was slow and sweet and passionate with her. Drawing out one long, but very strong orgasm from his wife with the steady, even pace of his thrusts.

Afterward Olivia curled up against her husband and stared up at him over his chest as they talked for hours. Elliot combed his fingers through her dark hair and placed soft kisses against her forehead as he trailed his fingers up and down her bare back. Elliot cherished every second with her and feared losing her.

Olivia yawned as she stared up into his eyes.

"Tell me what you are thinking baby," he said softly meeting her gaze with his.

"I was thinking about the future."

Elliot smiled at her. "What about our future?"

"I was thinking that if I….."

"Don't use that word."

"What?"

"_If_, Liv. Never say if. We are going to beat this. And we are going to live and amazing life together and grow old together." She could see the tears and behind Elliot's eyes. "I can't lose you. I wont."

He brushed a strand of bangs from her eyes and kissed her again.

"I love you Olivia."

"I love you, too."

"When we beat this…" he urged her to continue her statement.

"When we beat this….I want to have a baby, Elliot. Assuming I still can. Sometimes the Chemotherapy leaves women infertile."

"Honey when we make it through this, I promise you I will give you a baby. And if we can't have one of our own, then I will buy you one if I have to. We will have a baby."

Olivia smiled at the thought of their child and what he or she would look like. She kissed Elliot's chest softly.

"I love you so much Elliot," she whispered softly.

"I love you, too angel." He cupped his hand against the side of her face and kissed her lips gently. "You should get some rest. It's almost five o'clock and we have to get up in a few hours for your first Chemo session."

"Yeah," she mumbled quietly.

"What is that?" He asked shifting her to look into her eyes again.

"Nothing, I guess I'm just a little afraid."

"It's going to be okay baby. I am going to be right there with you the entire time. We do this for a few days and have your surgery then move on and finally get to start our lives together. To start our forever. Olivia, I want to make all of your dreams come true."

"I know you do Elliot. And I know that you are trying to stay positive and help me think positively. But I cannot help but wonder if maybe you are being just a little too naive about this transplant. I mean even with Cragen being a match, there is still a really big chance that this wont work."

"I know that baby. But Olivia nothing will ever work out for you if you don't have faith."

He watched her as a tear rolled off her cheek.

"It is just so hard to believe….to keep believing, unconditionally when things like this happen."

"I know sweetheart. But you can't give up. Sometimes your faith is all you have. But as long as you have it, Olivia you are never alone."

"It amazes me how strong you are sometimes. You get that from religion?"

"Some of it. A lot of it. I was raised a Catholic. And although I have not been to church in forever and kind of went against their beliefs not only when I got divorced but also when I remarried, my religion is still a big part of who I am. But I get most of my strength from my family, my children and my wife." Elliot traced his fingertip down her jaw line and raised her chin to kiss her lips.

Olivia curled into him again and laid her head against his chest to hear his heart pounding in her ear.

"I want to go with you," she said softly.

"Go where baby?"

"I want to go to church with you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Why, is that a shock to you?"

"I just never thought of you as a religious person."

"Well, maybe I am counting on my husband to be a good influence and conform me."

Elliot laughed and kissed her again.

"Go to sleep."

Olivia smiled and he pulled her tight against him as she closed her eyes. With in moments they were asleep once more.

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

Just over a week later Olivia checked in to the hospital for her surgery. Elliot walked in beside her holding tight to her hand, both were more scared and nervous than they had ever been about anything. Tonight was check in and early tomorrow morning the actual procedure.

A nurse showed Olivia to her room, where she sat down her bag and tried to make herself at home. She would be here for a least a couple of days, so she might as well get comfortable with the place. Afterward she and Elliot walked down the hall to visit Cragen. The donation procedure was done with a local anesthesia and he would be able to check out in the morning. The doctors just wanted to keep him for overnight for observation to make sure that everything was okay.

He was sitting up in his bed flipping through channels when Olivia knocked then opened his hospital room door.

"We thought maybe you'd like some visitors," she said softly as she looked at him.

"Sure, come on in."

They walked in as Olivia sat down a vase of mixed flowers they had gotten for him with a get well balloon. She turned and walked over to sit on the foot of his bed.

"How did it go?" She asked softly.

"It went well. It was all over in about an hour."

"Did it hurt?"

"No. I mean I am a little sore. But not bad." Cragen reached out for her hand and she laid hers into it. He studied the worried look on her face. "I talked to the doctor. He said that sometimes they will take a little extra during the collection and freeze it, incase you should need more later. I had them do that."

Elliot stood across the room and watched as a tear fell from her cheek.

"I don't know how I will ever repay you. There is no way for me to thank you enough for what you are doing."

"You don't have to repay me Olivia." He was quiet for a moment as he stared into her brown eyes. "I will tell you what you can do. You can get better. And when you are strong again I want you to promise me that we will get to know each other better. Like a father and daughter. I have not been there Olivia, all this time. But I want to be there now. From now on."

She smiled. All of her life, as a little girl growing up she had always what it would be like to have a father. And now here he was in front of her telling her that he wanted her, too.

"I'd like that," she whispered softly.

"I was thinking maybe we could pick one night every week and that could be our night. We could just spend time together. Maybe go to dinner and talk. You can tell me of all of the things I missed out on in your life, catch me up."

"Maybe," she said. "I am up for us having a dinner night, I and just not so sure that my childhood is the best topic of conversation."

"We can talk about anything you want."

She smiled again.

Cragen brushed a piece of her hair from her eyes and cupped his hand against her forehead.

"Try not to worry, sweetheart. Worrying will only make you crazy. The doctors here are very good and know what they are doing. We are doing everything we can and if we need to do it again we will. We will keep doing it until it works. We will not give up on you Olivia," he said motioning to Elliot and himself. He moved his hand to hold hers again. "You should get some rest."

She looked up at him as he squeezed his hand.

"Yeah," she said softly.

"I will see you tomorrow, honey."

She leaned in and hugged him as he kissed her cheek.

"Okay. Good night."

"Good night, Olivia."

Elliot waved to him as they stepped back out into the hallway and closed the door behind them. She exhaled deeply and stared straight ahead of them.

Elliot stepped in front of her and brushed her bangs from her eyes as he kissed her forehead.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"I could eat."

"Let's find something," he said as he slipped his hand into hers again.

"But I am not supposed to leave the hospital."

"Well, I could treat you to a romantic dinner in the cafeteria."

Olivia smiled.

"Are you asking me out, Elliot Stabler?"

"As a matter of fact I am Olivia Stabler."

"Just what would my husband think?"

Elliot just stared at her for a moment. "He thinks….he knows, he is a very lucky guy to have a love like yours."

She forced a smile to keep from crying, then pulled herself into his chest.

"I love you so much," she said softly. "You are everything to me. And I could never imagine my life without you in it."

"I guess we both finally found out what is was like to find that person you were meant to be with. And I don't ever want to have to find out what it feels like to be forced to let you go."

"Neither do I," she replied as he held her tight in his arms.

Elliot kissed her forehead.

"Lets go have some dinner."

**EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO**

The next morning Elliot paced the waiting room nervously waiting for Olivia to get out of surgery. Cragen sat across the room watching him as he waited as well. Finally the doctor entered the room.

"How did it go?" Elliot blurted out as he approached the man.

"Wonderfully. She is resting comfortably in her room now. She will probably be out for the next few hours and wont want to do much for the next few days except sleep. It will take her a little while to get her energy back. I will need to see her several times over the next six weeks or so for routine tests and check ups. We wont know for a while if it is going to work, but I am hoping to see her feeling better here pretty soon. You can go on back and see her, but try to let her rest as much as she can. Her body needs it to repair the cell loss from the Chemotherapy." The doctor lead them down the hall to her room and let them in.

Elliot moved immediately to stand beside his wife and kiss her forehead softly.

"I love you , angel. I am right here beside you and I will be right here when you wake up."

Cragen brushed his thumb over her cheek softly as he looked down at her. Olivia was so pale and her skin felt cool and clammy. He prayed everything would be okay. He took a seat at a small table across the room and just watched her as she slept, waiting for something, anything to let them know she would be okay.

Elliot pulled a chair next to her bed and leaned his head against the bedrail as he held her hand in his. Nearly twelve hours passed before she finally fluttered her eyes open to look into his.

"Hey you," he whispered softly.

"Hi," she replied almost breathlessly. "How did it go?"

"The doctor said it went really well. It will be a few more days before you can go home and he will need to see you several times a week for the next month or so."

He smiled at her and Olivia smiled back.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too baby."

Elliot leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.


	12. 12 Down Time

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Twelve: Down Time)_

It had been just over a month since her transplant surgery and Olivia, with the exception of the occasional lack of energy, was pretty much back to her old self again. Elliot pretty much had to force her to slow down and sit down every few hours or she would have probably just kept going until she passed out.

He did really well taking care of his wife. Bringing her medication and making sure she got plenty of rest. He even enforced naps at least once a day, laying down with her whenever he could. Olivia sometimes felt almost child like about the fact that he waited on her hand and foot, but to Elliot taking care of her was the only one thing he could do to help the situation out and he loved it.

In the mornings she would get up and climb into the shower as Elliot cooked her breakfast. They would sit down and eat together before he had to leave for work. He came home every day and brought or fixed them lunch. After lunch they would climb into bed and watch television together, Elliot would hold her until she finally fell asleep then he had to slip out and head back to work. He called her from work several times a day to check on her and ask her how she felt. Carry on a little small talk for a few minutes before he had to go again.

The truth was he felt horrible about the fact that he had to leave her at home alone and be gone to work so much. He did as much of it as he could from home and on her occasional bad days when she wasn't feeling well or was running a fever, he stayed home and didn't leave her side for a second. He loved her so much and was determined to help her make it through this.

Olivia went back to the doctor for her four week check up and received wonderful news. Her blood samples looked really good and everything seemed to be working out really well. She was not completely out of the woods yet and there were a few precautions she would have to take pretty much for the rest of her life, but at least she would have a life.

She asked her doctor about the possibilities of still being able to conceive a baby and he told her that she should wait about six months after her surgery and the chemotherapy before they started trying to get pregnant. But what Olivia heard was more important, the fact that he didn't tell her she would not be able to conceive. He did say that with the short amount of time she was treated with chemotherapy, there was a good chance it would have no effect on her reproductive system. But there were tests that they could run to make sure. Things were actually starting to look up for them for the first time in a long time.

That Sunday morning Olivia attended church with Elliot and all five children. She really enjoyed the service and being their with her family. That night before they went to bed they made a secret pact to encourage each other to go as often as they could. They would take the children and make it a family event and afterward they would all go out for a family meal and spend Sunday afternoon together before dropping the children back off with their mother. They had both realized how much they had to be thankful for and lately with the stress of work and her illness, church seemed to provide a great comfort for them.

Olivia climbed into bed and closed her eyes as Elliot leaned over massaging her shoulders gently. He laid down beside her in bed and stroked the side of her face with his thumb, then leaned in to softly kiss her lips. She opened her heavy eyes and smiled at him.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too baby."

Olivia scooted in against him and Elliot closed his arms tight around her holding her until they had both fallen asleep.


	13. 13 Three Steps Forward

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Thirteen: Three Steps Forward)_

It had now been right at six months since her transplant surgery and Olivia was leaving her doctor's office with yet another clean check up. Six months with no sign of Leukemia. She climbed into the back seat of a cab and went across town to meet Elliot and Cragen for lunch to celebrate her great news.

Over the last six months she and Donald Cragen had made it a point to meet every Saturday for brunch and small talk just to get to know each other better. They were closer now than they had ever been, but sometimes Olivia still had a little trouble believing he was her father.

At work they had the same relationship they had always shared. This was important to Olivia. She wanted everything that had happened over the last six months to change her life as little as possible. Infact only their close friends even knew that Cragen was her father and what her medical leave was really for.

But all of that was behind them now and it was finally time for them to move forward with their lives together. Olivia took a seat at the table next to her husband and across from her father. It was nice she thought, to be sitting here at a family meal with the two most important men in her life. To finally have some sort of family.

She sat leaned in against Elliot in the booth as he kept staring down at her and softly kissing her temple. Cragen was talking about something that was going on at work and it took everything Olivia had inside her to focus on his words. Her mind was somewhere else. She shifted her eyes up to meet Elliot's and smiled.

"So what is going on with you two?" Cragen asked. "I mean aside form this wonderful news from the doctors."

Olivia smiled at Elliot once more then turned to look at Cragen across the table. "Well," she began, "Elliot and I have decided to try and have a baby."

Cragen almost spit his drink across the table. That was not exactly the kind of answer he had expected from her.

"Really? That is great."

"Don't worry, I'm not pregnant. Not yet anyway. But I talked to my doctor about it and he suggested I wait six months after the surgery just to be safe. It has now been six months. We talked about it and agreed that if this check up had good results we wanted to start trying."

"Wow. I'm going to be a grandfather."

Olivia laughed and looked at Elliot.

"Yeah, hopefully someday," Elliot answered.

"Someday soon if we're lucky," Olivia replied.

"But some people try for months, even years before they get pregnant. We're hoping it doesn't take that long," Elliot said.

"The doctors said this is okay?" Cragen asked her.

"Yes. He said it should be fine. They will monitor me of course during an actual pregnancy, just to be on the safe side. But it should be okay."

"That is great news. I am so excited. For you guys and for myself. I am going to be a grandfather."

Elliot kissed the top of her head and held her close to him.

That night as Olivia stood in their bathroom getting ready for bed, Elliot sat across the room and watched her. He stood up and walked over to the doorframe and leaned against it to talk to her.

"Are you serious about this baby thing?"

Olivia turned and looked at him as her eyes widened. She sat her hair brush back onto the counter and stared down for a moment before looking up at him through the mirror.

"You don't want to have a baby?"

"I do. Of course, I do. But, right now?"

She turned around and looked at him as she sat on the bathroom counter.

"What is wrong with now?"

"Nothing, I guess. I just didn't realize that you meant now. I just assumed you meant later down the road. Until today with Cragen that is."

"Oh, El. I…I thought that we had agreed after the six months the doctor said to wait. I assumed the look you gave me was like a go ahead, so I told him. I didn't realize that you and I weren't even on the same page with this. I just really want to start trying soon….now."

"Honey, I want kids with you. I just kind of thought we could have a little time for us first. We haven't even been married a year, yet. And you were sick through part of that." he cupped his hand against the side of her face. "I just want some time to be with my wife before we have babies. Time to take you on a real honeymoon and create out dreams together so that we can make them come true."

"This is my dream, El. And I want it with you."

Elliot kissed her softly. "You really don't want to wait?"

"Elliot, if there is one thing that I have learned from this leukemia thing it is to never take one day for granted. I want a baby with you. And if we keep putting that off and waiting, it may never happen."

"It will happen. I promise. If this is what you want, then we can start trying to get pregnant immediately, now, tonight."

Olivia laughed.

"All I know is that I love you," Elliot began, "and I want to spend every second of my life on this earth making you happy. And we can still plan a little vacation getaway, honeymoon thing."

"I have only been back to work for two months."

"Yes, but we both have days. Even if it is just a week to sneak off alone together somewhere. I think we need this," he said slipping his hand into hers. "So you think of a place you would like to go. And we'll just take the time and go. Who knows we may even get pregnant in some exotic place."

Olivia laughed again.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to do this now. If you are not ready yet, we can wait to have a baby."

"I'm ready, Liv."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Good," she said with a smile as she kissed him and slid off the counter walking to the bedroom and returning with her purse. She pulled out her package of birth control pills and picked up the trash can tossing them into it. She walked back to Elliot and wrapped her arms around his waist as she gazed up into his eyes. "Now we have officially started trying to have a baby."

Elliot kissed her softly and slipped his hands under her gown pushing it up her thighs. "Not officially," he said with a sly smile as he sent her panties crashing to the ground between her feet. "But we can take care of that right now."

She giggled as he began to kiss and nip at the tender flesh behind her ear and smooth his hands over her body under her gown. He lifted her to sit on the counter once more and leaned her back against the mirror to kiss her.

Elliot pulled her hips toward him and gently spread her knees with one hand as he smoothed the other up the inside of her thigh and stopped just before…. Olivia panted and stared at him with a look that seemed to beg for more as she whimpered and groaned just a little.

"Is something wrong?" She finally managed to form the words.

"No."

He cupped his hands and placed them under her ass jerking her forward and all the way against him this time. She sighed and panted again as she felt his erection against her thigh through his jeans.

Olivia smiled and laughed seductively as she leaned forward to kiss him. While she occupied his mouth with hers, her hands moved South to unzip his jeans. Now the only thing between her body and his was the thin material of his boxer shorts. She bit her bottom lip in anticipation as she slipped her hand under the waist band of his boxers and ran her fingertips the full length of his hard shaft.

Elliot moaned and trembled a little as he stared into her bedroom eyes. He pulled her hips into him grinding his cock against her through his boxers. She groaned a little and kissed hungrily at his mouth as her fingers fumbled to pull away the material obstruction blocking his entrance to her body.

"Not yet," Elliot whispered against her lips and he lowered her hand back to the counter. Olivia looked at him with her eyes glazed over in want and lust.

Elliot kissed her and gently leaned her back against the mirror once more. Olivia ran her fingers down his bare chest as he moved back from her and pulled her hips to the edge of the counter. He moved his hand slowly under her gown again and all the way up her thigh. This time his fingers twitching at her entrance.

Olivia moaned softly and placed her hand against the mirror for support as her husband slipped two finger inside her body. She arched her back to lean into his hand and moaned as he moved inside her. Elliot moved his free hand to the small of her back and began to kiss her abdomen above the satin night gown.

Before long he had kissed his way down her body and up the inside of her thigh. He knelt to the bathroom floor as he raised one of her legs to rest on his shoulder and pushed the other one outward with his hand as he moved his mouth against her. A soft but hungry moan escaped her lips as Elliot flicked his tongue over her clit then moved it inside her.

Olivia felt as if she would melt. She grasped at the counter and smeared her hand against the mirror then finally settled for clawing at his shoulder. She gasped and moaned through a strong orgasm as Elliot felt her warmth against his mouth. He placed a small wet kiss against the inside of her thigh and Olivia laughed at the smacking sound it made. She moved her fingers across the top of his head as he stared up at her from the floor.

She reached out pulling him to her as he stood back up. She pressed her body to his feeling his readiness for her as she stared into his eyes. She crashed her mouth against his and kissed him wildly, moaning as if begging for him to finish her off.

Olivia stared deep into his eyes as she pushed down his boxer shorts and slid them to the floor with her feet. She moved her hand slowly up and down his erect penis as she stared into his eyes. Finally Elliot took the hint.

He slid his hand under her thigh raising it up and out to the side as he lined himself up with her entrance. For the first few seconds he teased her, brushing his hard cock against her opening and feeling her warm wetness, but pulling back without gaining entry. Olivia whined softly and clawed her fingernails into his forearm. He leaned in and kissed her as he entered her just a little then pulled out again. After about the third time of doing this, Elliot slid himself inside her with one ling smooth movement as Olivia moaned. A few soft thrusts and he pulled out again and stared into her eyes.

"You're killing me," she gasped whimpering at the loss of him.

He leaned forward and pushed slowly into her once more. Olivia pressed her nose against the side of his neck as he continued moving inside of her for a few minutes. Elliot slowed down to kiss her and then stopped completely as he stared into her eyes. He turned his head and looked at the bed in the other room.

"El?" She gasped.

"Do you want to stay here or move into the bedroom?"

Olivia contemplated the scenario for a few minutes as she stared at the big inviting bed. She shook her head and looked back at Elliot as she leaned in and kissed him.

"I like what I have right here," she said with a mischievous grin as she leaned back and placed her hand against the mirror and spreading her knees apart. This was her way of asking him to fuck her on the bathroom counter, rather than make love to her in the bed like they usually did.

Elliot smiled and leaned in to kiss her again. With one hand he lined himself up with her once more and pushed his way inside her. He stood straight up and raised her knees until one of them was on each side of him then began to thrust inside her. He started off slow then sped up, pushing deeper each time as she begged for more. Olivia moaned and clawed at his chest as he moved faster and harder inside of her.

After a while Elliot stood up and leaned in over her to stare into her eyes. He placed his hand against the mirror as he raised up just a bit and continued to move inside her. Olivia slipped her hands down to grasp his firm ass in her hands almost guiding his hips as he thrust into her. Elliot kept going until he could feel the strength of her orgasm in the tightening of her walls around him. He slowed down as she began to come down from her high and pulled out of her.

Olivia stared at him for a moment as he stepped out of his jeans. He put his hands under her hips raising her against his waist and carried her to the bedroom. Elliot laid her gently on her back on the bed and leaned in to kiss her softly.

"You are so wonderful," she cooed softly.

"Yeah?"

She nodded in agreement as she stared up at him and he kissed her tenderly. Elliot slipped his hands under her gown and raised it over her head. Olivia smiled at him.

"What? You thought I was finished? Not even close."

"Oh thank God," she gasped pulling him to her now naked body.

They made love for hours and hours. Him on her, her on him, then him on her again. Each time resting only moments before changing positions and starting all over again. When it had all started Olivia was keeping count of her orgasms, but after about four or five she completely lost track. They had to have set some sort of record, she thought to herself as she finally closed her eyes to try and get some sleep. She rested her head against Elliot's bare chest. Her nude body matching his curve for curve. Before long, they had both fallen asleep.


	14. 14 One Little Mistake

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Fourteen: One Little Mistake)_

Olivia sat at her desk watching as Elliot typed up his report. She couldn't see to focus all afternoon, too much was on her mind. Fifteen minutes until quitting time and she couldn't wait to get their evening started.

Her husband was taking her out for a romantic dinner at her favorite restaurant and then it was back home for a little alone time. It had been nearly six months since they had decided to try to conceive a baby and so far all of their attempts had failed.

For the last two weeks they had been so tied up in a case at work that they had been working many late nights and hadn't been able to spend much time alone together. Tonight they planned a romantic evening to try and make up for that.

Elliot looked up across his desk to catch her watching him. He smiled and reached for her hand.

"You finished?"

Olivia nodded with a smile.

"I'll just be a few more minutes. I am almost done here. It will be nice to finally have some time alone with my wife."

"Yes, it will."

"I do kind of wish you hadn't told Cragen we were trying to get pregnant though."

"Why?"

"Because now every time we are alone together he is probably assuming we are having sex."

"Elliot, we still have not come out of our newlywed stage. And pretty much every time we are alone together we are having sex."

"Right, but I would rather our boss not know it."

Olivia smiled. "We could stop having sex for a while. That would really throw him off."

"Smart ass."

"Just finish your paperwork, Stabler so you can take me home."

Just then Elliot's cell phone rang. He looked up at Olivia as she shook her head. Neither of them were on call tonight and there was actually no reason he couldn't just let it go to voice mail.

Elliot pulled the phone from the clip on his belt and looked at it. "It's about the case," he said looking over at his annoyed wife. He opened the phone and placed it to his ear. "Stabler," he said as he grabbed a pen and paper. "Yeah, yes, okay. Umm…twenty minutes…"

Olivia felt her heart drop in her chest.

"Well I kind of had… No, no. I will be there." He hung up the phone and took a deep breath exhaling loudly.

He shifted his stare up at the look of disappointment in Olivia's eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I had a feeling something like this would happen."

"Okay so on to plan B…"

"There's a plan B?"

"No time better than now to make one." Elliot pulled his car keys from his pocket and tossed them to her. "You take the car and head home. Cragen wants me to run across town and talk to this guy. I'll be home after that. I thinking maybe an hour and a half, tops. Then we are right back on schedule. The rest of the weekend is ours, I am turning off my phone for a little alone time with my wife."

"Okay."

"Liv, honey. I am sorry."

"It isn't your fault. I know that. It is just that lately, it is kind of our luck."

"I'll be a little late tonight, but we are still on. The entire weekend. Just ma and my wife. No work, no cell phones, no interruptions. Just you and me babe. And if we are lucky, this could be the weekend we make our baby."

Olivia smiled. "Okay. I will see you when you get home."

"I'll walk you out," Elliot said as he followed her toward the elevator. He kissed her goodbye and waved as she drove away, then headed for the squad car.

Olivia decided to run a few errands since it would be a while before he got home anyway. An hour later she headed back to their apartment. She took a quick shower and got dressed for their evening out together. She poured a glass of wine and sat down on the couch with the remote control to wait for Elliot.

An hour later Olivia opened her eyes and realized she had fallen asleep. She looked up at the clock, it had been over three hours since she had gotten off work and still no sign of Elliot. On the coffee table in front of her sat the wine glass still full with only a few sips missing from it.

She stood up and walked into the kitchen picking her cell phone up off the counter. It had been on vibrate and she had missed two calls from Elliot. She opened it to call him as she heard his key turn in the door.

"Hey you. I'm sorry I was later than I planned."

"I was starting to wonder about you."

"I tried to call."

"I must have fallen asleep on the couch waiting for you to get home."

"Well, it is after eight now and we missed our reservation. I was thinking maybe I could cook for you tonight and I'll call and make the reservation for tomorrow night. What do you think?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "You're home. That is all that matters to me."

"So, what are you hungry for?"

"I don't know. I was just thinking maybe we could order in and skip straight to desert." She smiled and winked at him.

Elliot laughed. "I'll call our for Chinese."

"You read my mind."

"And you know, by the days you marked off on the calendar, we're in the green."

She smiled again and laughed. Green meaning go, as in good to go. As in she was ovulating and stood a higher chance of getting pregnant if they made love.

When all of this baby stuff had first began several months ago, they had been using all of the methods they had found on the internet. Ovulation prediction kits, unique and tricky sexual positions, even eating certain foods that were rumored to boost fertility.

Getting a little over excited, Olivia had even marked the calendar for the entire year on the days she was due to ovulate. Getting as busy as they did it was usually hard for them to track her ovulation and remember what days she was most fertile. So she had taken a green highlighter and marked each of the days for the entire year. So far, nothing had worked for them. They had pretty much given up on the calendar stuff.

Elliot called in the order for their diner then sat beside her on the couch. He picked up the book she had been reading from the end table beside the couch. "You're still reading this? Find anything useful in here?"

The book was one she had purchased months earlier that suggested different methods for getting pregnant. "Actually this man has some interesting theories on how to determine the sex of your baby from conception."

"He does, huh? Sounds like a load of…"

Olivia took her book from his hand and opened it to the page where her book mark laid. "He says that the position of sex during conception plays a big part in determining the sex of the fetus. Missionary, due to a shallower penetration, favors a girl. And deeper penetration methods, usually result in a boy."

"Let me see that," he said taking the book from her hand and flipping through the pages.

"It has something to do with the pH levels. More acidic conditions favor girls and more alkaline favor boys. That is because the X sperm or female sperm tend to live longer than the Y sperm or male sperm. So deeper penetration where there are less acidic conditions are better for boys because they don't have as far to travel before they reach their destination."

"I am not so sure this guy knows what he is talking about. I have five kids, all conceived in the missionary position. And two of those are boys."

"Well, it doesn't mean that you cant conceive a boy in the missionary position. Just that you are more likely to conceive a girl."

"And you really believe this quack?"

"It is just interesting reading."

"I just wonder how many children he has. And how many he has accurately predicted the sex of using this method."

"Maybe it isn't accurate. But what have we got to lose? At this point I would gladly take a boy or a girl, I just want a baby."

The door bell rang and Elliot wend to get their food. That night after dinner they retired to the bedroom early to make up for lost time.

Around eight o'clock the next morning the home phone rang. It was Cragen who wanted to speak to Elliot. Olivia rolled over in the bed holding the blankets against her. She exhaled and blew a strand of hair from her eyes as she eavesdropped on Elliot's conversation. How was she supposed to get pregnant if she never had time to have sex with her husband?

She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling in frustration as she heard Elliot hang up the phone. "So?" She asked looking up at him as she propped her chin against her palm. "How long will you be gone?"

"Just a few hours. Hopefully. A woman called the station and has information that could help close this case."

She nodded.

"Olivia, I have to go."

"Elliot, it's okay. I understand. I work this job, too. It is just going to be a little difficult to get pregnant when I am stuck here all alone."

"You sleep in. Relax," he said kissing her softly. "I will be home as soon as I can. And we are still going to dinner tonight, I promise."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too baby."

Elliot headed off to work and Olivia went back to sleep for a few hours.

Around ten thirty she finally climbed from the bed. This was the latest she had slept in months and she must have needed it, because she felt incredible. She stretched and headed for the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She groaned and reached start the shower to adjust the water temperature.

"Elliot Stabler," she groaned looking down to realize that once again her husband had failed to replace the empty toilet paper roll with a new one. She reached under the sink pulling out a new roll of paper and found an ovulation test. "What the Hell?" She said softly as she opened the wrapper from the test and held it in her urine stream. Maybe she had disfigured or something. She replaced the toilet paper roll and sat the test stick on the counter. It took about ten minutes for accurate results, so she took her gown off and climbed into the shower while she waited.

That evening Elliot returned home with flowers and a box of chocolates. He felt horrible that his wife had spent yet another day at home alone and work had managed to postpone their baby making plans, yet again.

Olivia kissed him and handed him a glass of wine. "I'll be ready in a minute. Why don't you sit down and relax while you wait."

Elliot took a seat on the couch and sipped his wine as she inquired about his advance in the case. Elliot told her about the information he had gotten from their new witness.

"So, what did you do today?"

"Well," she said with a devilish grin, "as I was replacing the empty toilet paper roll, I found an ovulation test strip under the sink."

"Oh."

Olivia walked across the room and straddled herself over his lap placing one knee on each side of him. She smiled and held up the strip clearly displaying two blue lines. She smiled again and leaned in to kiss her husband tenderly.

"We already knew you were ovulating," he mumbled between kisses.

"But I'm not," she said staring into his eyes. "You see, I took the wrong test by mistake."

"You mean?" Elliot took the test strip from her hand to look at it again.

Olivia leaned in and kissed him again. She placed a trail of small kisses around to his ear. "Congratulations daddy," she whispered softly.

"You're pregnant?"

He watched as a smile spread slowly across her face. Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded her head. "Kind of funny, huh? I mean I was taking the test to see if I was ovulating so we could try to get pregnant. But I mistakenly took one of the pregnancy tests from the last time I was late and hoped I was pregnant. I didn't realize I even had the wrong one until I climbed out of the shower and picked it up to look at the results. The ovulation tests have pink lines, not blue. I realized what I had done and was a little nervous and afraid I was wrong, so I took another one. They were both positive. We are having a baby."

Elliot laughed. "That is the best news! We are finally pregnant."

"Yes, we are!"

"God," Elliot exhaled wrapping his arms tight around her. "Can you imagine how great this kid is going to be? The best of me and the best of you."

"I have been so excited since I found out this morning. It took everything I had in me not to call you. But I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to see the look on your face when you found out that we were finally going to have a baby."

Elliot tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and traced his fingers over her jaw line. "You are so beautiful. I hope this kid looks just like you."

"Or has your blue eyes." She smiled. "I could live with that."

"I want to give you everything, Olivia. I love you more than anything and I want to make all of your dreams come true." He brushed his thumb over her full lips and kissed her passionately.

Olivia smiled as she placed her hands over her abdomen and looked into his eyes. "You already have."

Elliot pulled her mouth to his.

"What time is our reservation?" She mumbled through kisses.

"Seven thirty," he replied kissing her neck.

"What time is it now?"

Elliot shifted her a bit to look at his watch. "Five forty five."

Olivia smiled as she gazed seductively into his eyes and raised an eyebrow. "What do you say we celebrate a little _before _dinner?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Olivia laughed as Elliot laid her back against the couch and proceeded to make love to her.


	15. 15 Expecting & Unexpected

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Fifteen: Expecting & Unexpected)_

Olivia groaned and placed her hand under her stomach as she sat up in the bed.

"Again? It has only been half an hour since you got up to pee the last time," Elliot remarked looking at the clock beside the bed.

"Trust me, I would rather be sleeping as well. But it doesn't seem to matter how I lay I cannot get comfortable and this baby keeps kicking me in the bladder. I am surprised I have not peed my pants, yet."

Elliot watched his wife as she struggled to climb from the bed. At just over four months she already struggled with her baby belly. She had began to show very early on and felt the baby move pretty early as well.

Olivia returned to the bed moments later lowering herself back into her place and putting a pillow between her knees as she closed her eyes. She smiled as she felt Elliot's arm snake its way around her very large baby bump, finding her hand and holding it in his.

When Elliot woke the next morning she was already up and moving around in the kitchen. She hadn't been sleeping that well since they had moved into the new apartment. She seemed to be having a little trouble adjusting to the change. He got up and took a quick shower dressing for the day then made his way into the kitchen. He kissed his wife as she handed him a cup of coffee.

"I was going to make breakfast. But you slept so late I figured we'd just wait until we meet Kathy for lunch in an hour."

Elliot dragged his fingertip over her baby belly. "I swear this gets bigger every day." He looked up at Olivia who gave him a look that clearly stated she was not amused. "I mean noticeably bigger. Like you can see it changing from day to day."

"I know what you mean," she said peering at him over her cup of tea. "I am the size of a house. And I still have five months to go."

"You are beautiful," Elliot said kissing his self conscious wife. "And I love you."

"But you didn't say I wasn't huge," she laughed.

"Baby, you're pregnant. I would be worried if you weren't huge."

"Just drink your coffee, Stabler."

She walked across the room and picked up the newspaper from the coffee table where she had sat reading it hours earlier. She carried it to Elliot and laid it down on the bar in front of him.

"I am still confused as to why you arranged a lunch with Kathy anyway, El."

"She is making an effort. You know? She wants to discuss Christmas with the kids. She mentioned having a big dinner at the house and invited us."

"You really want to spend Christmas at your ex-wife's house?"

"With my kids, yes. Liv, Kathy is trying to make and effort for us all to function as a family. A little unconventional, I know. But especially with this new baby coming I think it would be a good idea for all of us to remain close. She and I have worked out our issues and we are still friends. Baby, she has accepted us as a couple and is supporting us as a family. I know this will be a little uncomfortable at first, but it is important. To me and to the kids."

"I know. And it makes perfect sense. It is just a little awkward, you know? Having lunch with my husband and his ex-wife."

"I will be right there to make sure she remains civil. She doesn't bite," Elliot said kissing her lips.

"Maybe not, but I am liable to start if we don't get going. I'm starving and we have half an hour before we are supposed to meet her."

"Well, then. Kathy's intentions aside, I need to feed my wife and baby." Elliot rubbed a circle over her belly as the baby kicked inside and he smiled. "I'll get your coat."

"I have to pee before we go," Olivia said with a smirk as she headed down the hall toward the bathroom.

* * *

Later they sat around a table in a restaurant. Olivia held one hand under her belly as she nibbled on a breadstick in an attempt to ward off her nausea and tame her hunger until the food arrived.

"Do you know the sex of the baby yet?" Kathy asked from across the table.

"Umm, no. I had an appointment, but they couldn't tell. The baby was turned away and wouldn't show anything," Olivia answered with a smile. "I think it's a boy, though."

"Really?" Kathy asked with a smile.

"What makes you think that?" Elliot asked her.

"Because this kid kicks nonstop. Boys are a lot rougher than girls," she said smiling at him.

"I don't know about that," Kathy said, "with ours the boys weren't as active. The girls though, they could have been kick boxers. When are you due?"

"June sixth," Olivia replied feeling the baby move impatiently as he or she waited for food.

"Kathleen was a June baby, the twenty second."

"Father's Day," Elliot added.

"Well, she was due the week before and refused to come out. My doctor had gone on vacation. They planned to schedule a cesarean when he came back. But, she didn't wait that long. Do you have any names picked out?"

"A few. Nothing we are set on just yet." Olivia answered.

"So," Kathy began, "I was talking to Elliot and we were thinking…well, I was thinking. This year I would like to have a big Christmas dinner at the house. All of the kids and I would like you and Elliot to come as well. I think it would be nice if the kids could just have us all together for the holidays. And I think it would be a nice tradition to start, even for this baby, to be able to spend the holidays with his or her entire family."

"I think it is a great idea," Olivia said picking up her glass of ice water from the table.

Elliot shifted his head to look at her. He hadn't expected it to go that easily.

"Really?" Kathy asked.

"Yes, really." Olivia answered.

"I had honestly expected some protest," Kathy said looking at Olivia. "I just figured this might be a little uncomfortable for you."

"Maybe a little," Olivia admitted. "But you're right. It is important for the kids, all of the kids," she said rubbing her belly, "for us to keep them together and let them be close. I don't have any family of my own. So except for your kids, Elliot and I are the only biological family this baby has. I want this child to have a good relationship with his," she looked over at Elliot, "or her brothers and sisters. It is important to me."

Kathy smiled as the waiter brought their food to the table. "Good. I am glad that we can all agree on this. Because in a way we are all kind of family now."

Olivia smiled. It was a little strange, but her life had never mad complete sense. If Kathy was willing to accept her, she was willing to accept Kathy into her life as well.

"To Family," Olivia said with a smile raising her glass of water for a toast.

Elliot smiled at her as they all clicked their glasses together.

"Now lets eat," Elliot said kissing her gently, "before my baby starves." He placed his palm over the place where the baby kicked inside her belly.

* * *

Two days later Olivia had an appointment for another sonogram. Just as they left work, Elliot got a phone call from Cragen. Olivia pressed her lips together and watched as he tried unsuccessfully to get out of going back to work.

"I can't believe this," she said with a look of disappointment in her eyes.

"I know. But Munch is vacation and Fin is in court all afternoon."

"And you only need an hour to find out the sex of your child. I'm sorry. I know this isn't your fault and I guess it isn't really even that big a deal. I just kind of hoped we would be there together when we found out."

"You're right baby, it is a big deal. It is a very big deal. But I can't get out of this. Can he reschedule your appointment?"

"This was the only opening until after New Year's. It took me almost a month to get this and that was only because someone else had their baby and opened up a slot. I can wait, I guess. But by then I will be almost six months before we can even pick out a name."

"No honey, go."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes. We may not get another chance and even if we did, whose to say the baby will show us anyway. You go ahead. But bring back plenty of pictures." Elliot leaned forward and kissed her as he slipped the keys to their personal car into her hand. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"And daddy loves you," he said rubbing circles on her belly.

* * *

Olivia laid back against the table as the doctor squirted the gel onto her belly. The gunk must have been colder than she thought because when she jerked in reaction she felt the baby kick inside her.

"Do you think we will actually get to see today?" She asked the doctor.

"I hope so. You are further along this time, that will help. The baby is bigger and doesn't have as much room to hide."

Olivia laughed a little and watched the monitor waiting for the infant's image to appear.

"There," he said finding the heartbeat before the picture appeared.

Olivia watched him as he made a strange face. "What doctor? Is something wrong?"

"I'm sure it's nothing," he said listening to the fetal heartbeat. "Sounds like we may have a slight murmur. A tiny hole in the heart. It isn't uncommon. It usually heals itself in utero. Or sometimes it takes until about the baby's second birthday. If it hasn't corrected it's self by then we'll need to go in and do surgery."

"Oh my God," Olivia said as tears filled her eyes.

"Calm down, honey. I am still not even fully sure that is even the case here. I would like to bring in a colleague to have a listen," he said tapping the side of the monitor as the picture began to get fuzzy. "They need to break down and get a new one of these before the thing goes completely out."

Olivia smiled nervously.

"I'll tell you what. Dr. Raines down the hall does really well at diagnosing this kind of thing. Why don't I make a call and see if she can get you in. She can take a listen and tell you more about what is going on in there."

"Okay," Olivia nodded.

* * *

Twenty minutes she was sitting in a small examine room on the other side of the clinic waiting for Dr. Raines to enter the room. The doctor arrived and introduced herself. She seemed young, a few years younger than Olivia, but very nice. She discussed options for treatment with Olivia, should they find anything. Then she explained that she specialized in high risk pregnancies and that if it were alright with Olivia, she would like to oversee the pregnancy from here until delivery.

"Okay, but do you really think this is necessary?" Olivia asked.

"Well, I just want to be sure. Even if I don't detect anything, I want to keep a close eye on things just to be safe. Sometimes these things are hard to detect," she said turning on the machine. "Are you ready?"

"Ready as I will ever be. I just want to know if my baby is alright."

"Try and relax. It is a lot easier on you and the baby that way."

Olivia took a deep breath and exhaled as she felt the warmth of the heated gel on her belly and the sound of the baby's heartbeat appeared once more.

"Do you want to take a look?" Dr. Raines asked her.

Olivia turned her eyes to face the screen and watched as a little foot appeared from the fuzzy darkness. She laughed a little as she felt the baby kick.

"How does everything sound?" She asked nervously.

"Well, I can hear the echo he was talking about." She moved the wand around Olivia's belly as the sounds grew louder and they could see the baby's face up close. "The baby is sucking it's thumb," she pointed out to Olivia as she pressed the button to print the picture.

"Can you tell the sex?" Olivia asked.

"You haven't found out yet?" She asked zooming out to look at the entire picture.

"The last time the baby turned around and the doctor couldn't tell."

Olivia watched as the details of the infant faded into little fuzzy blobs once more. She watched the screen as the doctor moved the wand around and printed off a few more pictures.

Then Dr. Raines smiled. "Do you see this?" She asked Olivia as she pointed to a gray area in the picture.

"Yes," Olivia said unsure of what she was looking at.

"This means that we are looking at your daughter."

Olivia smiled. "It's a little girl?"

"It's a girl," Dr. Raines exhaled. "But there is more, Olivia."

"More?" She asked nervously. "What? Is she okay?"

"She looks perfectly healthy. But she isn't alone in there. Your daughter is right here," she pointed again. "We'll call her 'Baby A.' Do you see this little flutter right here?" She asked.

"Yes," Olivia replied still not quite sure where the woman was going with this.

"That is 'Baby B.'"

" 'Baby B?' There are two of them?"

"Yes. And from what I can tell both look healthy. 'Baby B' however seems to be the shy one. I have tried from every angle and he or she is still not letting me see the sex organs."

"We're having twins," Olivia said with a smile.

"I still cannot fully tell on the heart murmur. But if there is one it is minor. I won't be able to even tell which baby has it until they are a little bigger and not huddled so closely together. But it could just be an echo from the two heartbeats. Sometimes that happens as well. I will keep a close eye on it as they develop."

"Can you tell if they are identical or fraternal?" Olivia asked.

"Fraternal twins and one is a girl, I can tell you for sure."

"My husband is going to freak out," she laughed.

"Well, I printed several pictures for you to take home to show daddy. The receptionist out front will give you a card. I want you to call me if you have any questions or pain or anything really. She'll set up your next appointment out front."

"Thank you doctor."

"It was very nice to meet you, Olivia. You and your babies."

* * *

Elliot was a little shocked when she called in and took the rest of the afternoon off. That evening when he returned home she had a wonderful dinner cooked and laid out with candles and soft music.

"I take it things went well?" He asked.

"Pretty well. I changed doctors. I am now seeing Dr. Raines instead. She is in the same building though."

"Why would you change doctors?"

"Because mine thought the baby might have a heart murmur. She specializes in high risk pregnancies. But I like her much better."

"A heart murmur?"

"She listened and she thinks everything is alright. She thinks that if there is one it will heal its self before the baby is ever born. But she is keeping a close eye on it just in case."

"That is good. Did you find out the sex?"

"Sort of," she said standing from the table to hand him the stack of pictures.

"Sort of?"

"It is a boy or a girl?"

"Well, see the little 'A' right there?"

"Yes."

"That is our daughter."

"A girl?"

"That one we know for sure."

"That one…Liv?" He asked looking into her eyes as she smiled.

" 'Baby B' we're not sure about the sex. He or she won't show us."

" 'Baby A' and 'Baby B?' We're having twins?"

"Yes, we're having twins. One girl and the other I'm not sure. But they are fraternal."

Elliot laughed and stood to kiss her. "We're having twins! I think this one is a boy," he said pointing to 'Baby B' in the picture.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I just have a feeling this one is a boy."

Olivia laughed.

"I have to buy another crib," Elliot said. "Another….everything. And now that we have the bigger apartment we can give them their own rooms. Something pink and pretty for her and for him, I'm thinking sports."

"But El, there is still a chance he could be a her."

"No, baby. This is our son. I can tell. Besides, that was what I got the last time with my twins, a boy and a girl. This is our son and our daughter."

Olivia smiled and kissed his lips gently, "if you say so."


	16. 16 Bed Rest

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Sixteen: Bed Rest)_

Elliot sat at his desk smiling at the latest sonogram picture on his desk in a frame. The babies were getting so big and before long they would be here.

"What are you so happy about?" Munch asked as he walked into the bull pen in one of his moods. "It is Monday morning. We still have four days to go. That is assuming we survive this week and Cragen doesn't kill us for not closing this case. We have no witnesses and no leads. Our victim keeps changing her story and she is not even sure she wants to press charges. They have us all running in circles like a dog chasing it's tail and you sit here grinning like a fool. What is going on with you?"

"I know what he is so happy about," Olivia said with a smile as she sat down in her chair with a cup of tea. "My doctor told us at my appointment on Friday that she is pretty sure that 'Baby B' is a boy. That is the look of a father who just found out he is about to have another son."

"First bit of good news all week. Congratulations buddy," Munch said patting Elliot on the back. "Of course two girls would have been precious, too. You got names for them yet?"

"Well, we were thinking of kind of going off this 'Baby A' and 'Baby B' thing Dr. Raines started. 'Baby A' will be Addison Nicole and 'Baby B' will be Bryson Michael, assuming 'Baby B' is indeed a boy. They still cannot tell us for sure."

"She said there is an eighty percent chance that this," Elliot said holding up the sonogram picture revealing two little infants fairly clearly, "is a son. And she is sure with out a doubt that this one is a little girl."

"You know those things have been wrong before," Fin added to the conversation. "I have heard of people who spent nine months preparing for a son. Had the baby's room fixed up and everything, then had a girl. They get the cord mixed up with the…."

"Thank you, Fin. We know what they mix it up with," Elliot remarked. "I'll be happy either way. I just want these babies to be healthy."

"And our nursery theme is pretty gender neutral. The top part of the walls are a soft yellow and the bottom half a pale blue. Then there are little frogs and turtles and ducks. It is really cute. But mostly yellows and greens, it could go easily either way. The crib sets are sage green and yellow plaid and have frogs, dragonflies, turtles and little yellow ducks. Two identical cherry convertible cribs with the changing table, rocking chair and dresser to match. I wanted to be covered either way."

"Good idea," Fin said. "Sounds like you guys are pretty much prepared."

"Pretty much," Olivia replied. "But we are in no hurry. They still have about six weeks in there and I want them to stay in as long as they can. My doctor said it is common for early delivery with twins. Although they both seem to be developing wonderfully. She said right now they weigh about three and a half pounds each."

"That sounds so tiny. Hard to believe that any of us were ever that small," Munch said.

"I think I was almost ten pounds when I was born," Fin replied.

"I was around eight somewhere," Elliot said as they both looked over at Munch.

"I was always a small kid. I weighed about six pounds. What about you, Liv?"

"I was just over three pounds," she said sitting back at her desk.

"Just over three pounds? You are kidding?" Munch replied.

"No, actually I'm not. My mother drank and smoked while she was pregnant. I was born five weeks premature and spent the first three weeks of my life in an incubator."

"I'm sorry, Liv. I had no idea," Munch stuttered.

"It's okay," she said with a forgiving smile. "She had a problem. An alcohol addiction that apparently she couldn't even kick while she was pregnant. Just makes me realize how much more I want for my kids," she replied rubbing her palm over her belly to settle the babies inside.

"It is still a little hard to believe that you were this size," Elliot said holding up the sonogram picture of their twins, "when you were born."

"Yeah," Olivia said taking the frame from him and tracing her fingertip over one of the babies little profile. "A lot has changed since then, huh?"

"Changed for the better. I always knew you were a fighter," Elliot said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Our babies are too, they get it from their mother. And these two are going to be just fine. I can feel it," he said rubbing his hand over her belly and kissing it.

"Thanks, El."

"I love you angel."

"I love you, too."

Elliot leaned in to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"I think that is our cue to get going," Munch said looking at Fin.

* * *

Olivia sat in the rocking chair in the nursery staring out the window into a storm. The weather was getting warmer and the summer air was beginning to creep its way into the city, leaving them with hot, humid nights.

Lately it seemed the babies had their days and night's confused and they were up bouncing around and kicking wildly inside her all night while she was trying to sleep. With only five weeks to go, Olivia's doctor had suggested she think about going on bed rest to prolong the pregnancy as long as she could. The babies appeared to be very healthy and developing well. Being twins, it was expected they might have a lower birth weight than most single birth deliveries, the closer she was able to carry to her due date, the bigger and healthier the babies would be.

She looked around the nursery in the dark. The guys at work had thrown her a baby shower and she now had enough diapers, bottles and pink and gender neutral clothing for the first six months of her children's lives.

Olivia had been in her nesting stage for about the last four months. She had washed and rewashed and rearranged everything in the nursery at least half a dozen time anxiously awaiting the arrival of her babies.

She had already spoken to Cragen and arranged to take an early maternity leave as soon as her doctor told her it was definitely time for bed rest. But seeing as she was unable to sleep most of the time anyway and Cragen had long since placed her strictly on desk duty. It was not nearly as interesting as her normal job in the field, but at least this way her babies were safe and Elliot's paperwork didn't fall behind.

Every moment of her life at this point seemed to revolve around the arrival of their little bundles of joy. And as much as she knew it was better to wait it out, part of her couldn't wait to finally deliver these babies. Partly so she could finally hold them and see them and love them, but also just because she was so tired of being pregnant.

Olivia exhaled uncomfortably at the kick of a little foot under her rib. The babies were growing bigger every day and she could tell by the discomfort each time she felt on of them move they were running out of space in there. She wasn't sure how on Earth Kathy could have done this five times. There was no way in Hell she was going to. These two were plenty enough baby for her.

"Hey you?" She heard Elliot's voice from across the room as he turned on the light. He laughed at the sight of her sitting with earphones stretched over her huge belly. "What in the world are you up to?"

Olivia adjusted herself in her chair trying to get comfortable. "It is ocean sounds. Supposed to calm the babies," she said rubbing a circle over her belly. "If I play it out loud it just makes me have to pee. They say the babies can hear music like this. It's good for them. Helps their brains develop or something like that."

"Something like that?" He asked walking toward her to kiss her lips. "Can't sleep?"

"I could. I would gladly go to sleep, I am wore out. But the kids think it is time to play." She took Elliot's hand and placed it against a spot on her belly where one of the twins was kicking like crazy.

"Dang."

"Yeah and your daughter is doing that under my ribs."

"You want me to get you something?" Elliot asked kissing her forehead.

"I'm okay, thanks. I am just sitting in here in the dark watching the rain on the window and rocking my babies," she said as she smoothed her hand over her belly.

"Baby, you look so tired. Why don't you come back to bed. Get comfortable and I will rub your back for you until you fall asleep."

"I don't know, El. I'm kind of antsy. This is starting to help me unwind. If I go in there now I will just keep you awake."

"Maybe it's time you considered this bed rest thing," Elliot said kissing her belly. "You are hardly sleeping at night anymore. You are uncomfortable all of the time and now you are in pain."

"I'm not in pain. I am uncomfortable. It is different. I am about to have twins and my stomach is so stretched it looks like it is about to pop. I have gained nearly forty pounds in just over seven months and I am miserable. It is all part of being pregnant."

"You should come on to bed with me. I will throw in a foot rub."

Olivia smiled. "Really babe, I'm fine. I think I'm just gonna sit here for a little while with the babies. I'll come to bed when they wind down."

"Okay, but if you change your mind on that back rub don't hesitate to wake me up," he said leaning down to kiss her lips.

She smiled as she watched him back out the door and turn the light off leaving her to her blue rainstorm.

* * *

Four days into her bed rest Olivia was already bored out of her mind. Cable sucked and there was not a movie on that she hadn't already seen. Elliot brought her newspapers and magazines home every day, but by noon the next afternoon she was finished with those as well.

She had managed to finish a novel and read half of another, completely pack her hospital bag and hang Addison's name in soft pink letters over her daughter's crib. She even had the letters ready to go up for the second baby, a pink Bailey for a girl and a blue Bryson for a boy.

_**Four days**_**, **she thought to herself, _**some women are on bed rest for months. **_Just then she heard the door shut in the front of the apartment. Elliot came home every afternoon on his lunch break to make sure she ate something and keep her company for an hour or so before heading off again.

"Hey babe," she called to him.

"How you feeling?"

"Bored out of my mind!"

"Few more weeks, Liv. Hey, I brought those Philly steak sandwiches you like so much."

Olivia yawned. The one good thing about being pregnant was that Elliot had been through this enough times that he always supplied the best pregnancy foods.

"Give me a minute, I have to pee again then I will move in there on the couch so we can eat together."

"Okay sweetheart." Elliot pulled a wooden tray from the pantry and laid out the sandwich on a plate for his wife. Then he placed a hand full of carrot sticks and a glass of juice for his babies. He pulled an apple from the fruit bowl in the center of the table and washed it off. He cut it in half and cored it cutting it in to decorative slices and laid them on the plate with the carrot sticks.

Olivia waddled down the hallway with her hand under her belly.

"You alright," Elliot asked not liking the look on her face.

"Yeah, I think one of the babies just kicked an ovary or something. I can't keep track. My organs are so jumbled up now I have no idea what is where anymore."

"I made you a plate. Do you want to sit on the couch and eat or sit at the table."

"Umm, table. I have been reclined with my feet up all day. I think I can sit at the table for a few minutes and enjoy lunch with my husband."

Elliot took her plate off the tray and sat it on the table. He set the tray aside then helped her into her seat. They sat for a little while and ate while they talked about work and anything to keep her mind off being locked up in the apartment all day.

Olivia shifted and winced as she felt a kick and a sharp pain.

"You okay?" Elliot asked with a worried look.

She groaned a little and readjusted herself on the chair. "Someone just kicked me in the bladder. I have to pee again." Olivia turned and started to stand. "I feel wet," she said looking confused.

"Honey it happens sometimes when you are this big pregnant. They kick your bladder and you lose control. It happened to Kathy a few times with the twins," he assured her.

Olivia exhaled and stepped back to go change her clothes. "No El, the chair is wet." She placed her palm in the cushioned seat cover and raised it to see blood on her hand. "Oh God," she gasped looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

She opened her palm to show him as tears streamed down her face.

"It's gonna be okay, baby. Where is your bag?"

"By the bed," she sobbed.

"Sit back down," he said lowering her to the chair. "I'm gonna grab your bag and call Dr. Raines on my cell. I brought the squad car and it is parked out in front. We are just a few blocks from the hospital and I am sure everything will be fine."

Elliot kissed her forehead and ran back to grab her bag. He helped her to the elevator, where she began to have hard contractions. Elliot opened the door and helped his wife into the back of the car so she could lay down and drove her to the hospital.


	17. 17 Rainy Days & Mondays

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Seventeen: Rainy Days & Mondays)_

Elliot sat across the hospital room and watched the monitors as Olivia slept. Flashing lights and random beeps and each of them determining the health and welfare of their unborn babies. He took a deep breath and exhaled as she stirred a little in the hospital bed.

Olivia moaned softly and opened her eyes to look up at him. "The babies?" She asked softly.

"They are okay for now," Elliot said leaning to kiss her lips.

"I'm so tired."

"It's the medicine they gave you to stop the labor. It relaxes your body enough that you can't have contractions. They called Dr. Raines, she was out of town, but she's on her way." Elliot locked his fingers between hers and smiled. "I love you so much. All three of you," he said placing his hand on her belly.

"What are we gonna do, El? I can't stay on these drugs until they're born. I'm so doped up I am seeing double and all I want to do is sleep. This stuff can't be good on the babies."

"The doctor here said something about a procedure they do for some women who go into premature labor, where they put a stitch in the cervix to keep the baby in longer."

"Is that what they want to do?"

"I'm not sure. I think everyone is waiting for your doctor to get here. We'll talk to her and see what she suggests. She's done this a few more times than we have," he said with a smile. "I'm sure she'll know exactly what to do. For now, you should rest." Elliot brushed his thumb across her forehead and kissed her gently as her heavy eyes fell closed.

"Stay with me," Olivia whispered tightening her grip on his hand.

"There is nowhere else I would rather be," Elliot replied as he nestled his head in beside her and closed his eyes as well.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Elliot woke up as Dr. Raines entered the room carrying Olivia's chart. He watched as she walked around the bed and inspected the machines, then turned to inspect Olivia's IV as well.

"How are you doing?" She asked looking at Elliot.

"Worried sick. Are Liv and the babies going to be okay?"

"I'm going to do everything in my power to safely deliver you two healthy babies. Let her sleep for right now, give me about twenty minutes to look over the file. Then I'll come in here and see if I can give you guys some options. Try not to worry. I am here and I'm not leaving. Your wife and babies are my main focus now. We're a team, Mr. Stabler. You, me and Olivia. And it is going to take every member of this team to get these babies here safely. I just want you to know that I am in this all of the way. You wife and children are in good hands. I have delivered many babies at this hospital. They have amazing doctors who work very well together and put the patients' safety above everything else. I don't think she could be in a better place."

"Thank you doctor," Elliot nodded with tears in his eyes. He watched as Dr. Raines carried Olivia's chart out of the room.

* * *

Olivia was just waking up when Dr. Raines walked back into the room. "Hey Olivia, how are you feeling?"

Olivia winced and adjusted herself in the bed. "Like I am stoned. I am so doped up I can't see straight. Everything has a ring around it and it is starting to make me nauseas."

"I'm sorry about that. They gave you the medication to try and buy us a little time to assess the situation and come up with a few choices."

"Choices?" Elliot asked.

"Like putting a stitch in my cervix to keep the babies from coming out?"

"That procedure is called a Cervical Cerclage. And it has proven to be successful in many cases. But I am not so sure that is the right thing to do in this situation."

"You don't think it will help our babies?"

"I would like to do another ultrasound and check the positioning of the babies, before we decide a plan of action."

"Okay," Olivia said softly.

"I will get them to bring the machine in here and I'll be back in a few minutes. Lets see what's going on in here," Dr. Raines said placing her fingertips against a spot where it was obvious there was a tiny foot just below the surface.

"Wow," Elliot said rubbing his hands over his face.

"Do you think everything is going to be alright?" Olivia asked him.

"I hope so. I think that we are getting the best possible help that we can for our babies," he said kissing her belly. "I don't think we could have a better doctor."

"I like her, too. I love that she is completely focused on our babies and she is really good at making sure to explain everything to us. I think she realizes how scared we are and she is good at helping us understand what is going on."

"I like her a lot better than that guy you had before."

"Me, too." Olivia smiled and moaned a little.

"Are you in pain?"

"No. I just feel a little pressure when they move around. I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"Their names," she said tracing her fingertip over the shape of the little foot on the skin of her belly.

"You changed your mind?"

"I think so. I still really like Bryson, but I'm not so sure about Addison."

"Baby, you already hung her name over the crib."

"They are letters, Elliot. They can be changed."

"What do you like?"

"Alyssa Nicole or maybe Aubrey Nicole."

"I like both of those. I really like Aubrey, though."

"So you don't mind if we change it?"

"Olivia, these are our kids. She will have this name for the rest of her life. It needs to be a name we both like."

"Okay, Aubrey Nicole Stabler it is!" She said with a smile.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia watched as Dr. Raines moved the wand of the sonogram machine around to look at the positioning of the babies. Elliot watched the monitor while Olivia studied the doctor's face.

"You don't like what you see?" She asked with a worried look in her eyes.

The doctor took a deep breath and exhaled. "My opinion?"

Olivia nodded.

"We need to get them out of there. They are crowded, it is causing complications. Nothing major so far, but I worry that they aren't getting enough of what they need." She put the wand down and turned off the machine and wiped the excess gunk from Olivia's belly. "Do you feel this?" She said pushing Olivia's hand gently in against one of the babies.

"Yes," Olivia replied.

"That is your daughter, 'Baby A.'"

"Aubrey," Olivia replied looking at Elliot with a smile.

"Well, Aubrey is turned and ready to go. You went into labor, Olivia. But 'Baby B' is breach and blocking the birth canal. Both babies are stuck. And I don't like how they are positioned. Leaving them like this we run risk of the cords getting tangled or you going into labor again. The placentas could rupture, not to mention the positioning is putting stress on the babies and I still cannot completely rule out a heart murmur. I would like to go ahead and perform a cesarean, the sooner the better and get them out of there."

"It isn't time yet," Olivia gasped.

"No. Ideally it would be better to keep them in there longer, but I think we have reached a point where our risks outnumber the possible benefits. You are almost thirty five weeks. The babies both look healthy. I am estimating them between three and a half to four pounds each. I can get a team in place and sedate you, Olivia. You can be awake the entire time. We will have incubators and be ready for anything. I will deliver little Aubrey first, because she is up higher. I will hand her off to another doctor so they can check her out while I go back in for 'Baby B.' Things will seem a little crazy in the delivery room, but I assure you that everything will be under control. Every member of this team has done this before. I will stay with you, Olivia until I have you stitched up and know that you are stable. Then I will move to oversea the twins care. I will not leave these babies until they are ready to go home with their mommy and daddy. And when they finally do get to go home, I will recommend you to a colleague of mine who is an amazing pediatrician."

"Are there any other options?" Elliot asked.

"Well, I could try to hold out a few more days. I would administer a series of steroid shots to boost fetal development. But it would only work if we could keep them in there for a few more days and Olivia would have to stay on the medication the entire time to prevent labor. The only reason your body isn't pushing right now is because you are so heavily medicated the muscles cannot contract. Short term this method is harmless. But keeping you like this for days could cause a number of problems for Olivia or the babies. I am willing to try this either way. This is your decision. But I honestly, would feel much more confident about this if we went ahead and delivered the babies via c-section this afternoon. Then we can focus on individualized care for each infant." She stood there and watched as Elliot looked back at Olivia. "I'll give you guys a few minutes to talk it over and decide. Just push the call button when you have reached a decision."

"Thank you," Olivia said softly.

They watched as the doctor walked out of the room closing it behind her. Elliot exhaled and looked back at his wife. Olivia sat with tears in her eyes circling her hand over the place where her daughter laid inside her.

"I am so selfish," she said softly.

"What are you talking about baby?"

"I thought, after the Leukemia….after the chemo and the months it took us to get pregnant that nothing else bad could ever happen. You know? Like I paid my dues," she said as a tear rolled from her cheek. "This isn't about me, Elliot. It never has been. It's about the babies and what is best for them."

"Do you think we should do it? Go ahead and let her perform the cesarean?"

"I think we should trust her judgment."

"Even if a few more days inside could possibly mean bigger healthier babies?"

"It could, El. But it is a gamble. It could also mean running a risk of cutting off their oxygen supply or damage to the placentas or the cords and we could lose them both."

"God, this should be an easier choice. There is no certainty either way. The risks are high and the wrong decision by us could harm our babies. I don't know what to do."

"You like Dr. Raines?"

"I do."

"Do you trust her?"

"Yes."

Olivia nodded. "I think we should do whatever she thinks is best."

Elliot stared into her eyes. "Deliver our babies today?"

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded her head. "We have the best doctors and nurses. We are at the best hospital and we are in a position where we still have a choice. I don't want to know what it feels like not to."

"Okay," Elliot said wiping away the tears from his eyes as he pressed the call button. "Then we'll do it."

* * *

Olivia laid in bed waiting for the nurses to come prep her for surgery. They had asked Elliot to step out several minutes earlier and he went down stairs to call the older Stabler children and let them know that they baby brother and sister were about to be born. He also put in a call to everyone at work to let them know Olivia was about to have the babies.

He paced around the gift shop talking to Maureen on his cell phone as he gathered little gifts for Olivia and the babies. He climbed into the elevator and walked back down the hall toward her room.

Inside Olivia laid still in her bed waiting for them to prep the delivery room for the arrival of her babies.

"Hey beautiful," he said with a smile.

"Hi," she whispered.

"I got a few things," he said sitting on the edge of the bed with a smile. He opened a large gift bag and began to pill out the gifts. "I got them each a bear for their crib. They match," he pointed out with a smile. "I got her her first baby doll," Elliot pulled a small cloth doll from the bag. She had dark brown yarn hair and her little blue eyes had been stitched on by hand.

Olivia smiled.

"And for him," Elliot began as he stirred around in the bag, "his first Yankees baseball cap.

"Aww," Olivia cooed at the tiny little hat. "This is so adorable," she said with a smile.

"Actually I got that in a gift shop shortly after I found out we were having a son. I have had it in a package in the car for a few weeks now. I got something for you, too."

"You have already given me my gift," she said with a smile circling her hand over her belly.

"I guess I'll just have to take this back then," he said pulling a velvet jewelry box from his pocket.

"No," Olivia said reaching for it.

Elliot smiled and kissed her gently as he handed her the box. She shifted in the bed and opened the top to stare inside. Elliot watched as tears rose in her eyes. Inside was a gold necklace with double interlocking hearts, each with a tiny emerald.

"Elliot, it's beautiful."

"Emerald is their birth stone, now. I took a walk while I was waiting. And as I passed a jewelry store I decided to go inside. I was going to get you a diamond. But this seemed more appropriate. Two babies, two hearts. One for each of them."

He looked up at Olivia as she began to cry. She laughed a little and wiped a tear away. She raised her palm and placed it against his as she stared into his eyes. She lowered her fingers to slide between his as he leaned forward and kissed her lips.

"I love you so much," she said softly.

"I love you too, angel. And in less than an hour, we will finally get to meet our babies."

Olivia smiled nervously as the doctor walked in.

"Are we ready?" She asked looking at Olivia.

Olivia exhaled and wiped tears from her eyes. "As ready as I will ever be."

"Daddy, if you'll come with me we can get you ready while they take her in," a nurse said motioning for Elliot to follow her.

"I will see you in the delivery room," he said kissing his wife.

Olivia nodded and watched as followed the nurse out the door.

* * *

Ten minutes later they showed Elliot into the delivery room where Olivia laid on the table. He could tell by looking into her eyes that the drugs had taken effect and she was feeling a little tired.

"Okay I am about to make the incision. 'Team A' get into position, we are about to meet baby Aubrey."

Moments later Elliot and Olivia heard a little shriek and the baby began to cry. Dr. Raines stood up and lifted a tiny baby girl over the divider for them to see. "Here is your daughter," she said as they stared at the dark haired infant as she screamed. "The lungs sound good," the doctor laughed as she handed the baby off to the doctor leading 'Team A' and they rushed her off to clean her up and inspect her.

"Now for 'Baby B,'" she said moving behind the sheet once more.

Olivia stared up at Elliot with tears in her eyes as they waited. He leaned down and kissed her forehead through his paper mask. "I love you baby. I love you so much," he whispered repeatedly and Olivia could tell he was just as nervous as she was.

She stared into the comfort of his blue eyes and they both cried as they heard the second baby begin to cry.

"Here we are," Dr. Raines announced stepping from behind the sheet divider once more. " 'Baby B.'"

The tiny baby kicked and squirmed and cried and it was the best sound either of them had heard in a long time.

"Born…" the doctor said looking back at the clock, "two and a half minutes after her sister."

Elliot and Olivia laughed and smiled at each other as he kissed the top of her head.

"Wait," Elliot said raising his head to look across the room as 'Team B' rushed into position taking charge of the second baby, "_**her**_ sister?"

"That is right Mr. Stabler! You have two beautiful baby girls! Congratulations!" Dr. Raines moved behind the sheet once more to work on closing Olivia up.

"That means that Bryson Michael is…" Elliot thought aloud.

"Bailey Olivia," his wife cut him off with a smile.

"Two girls," Elliot said with a soft laugh. "Aubrey Nicole and Bailey Olivia Stabler. It's perfect. They are perfect." Elliot lowered himself beside her and kissed her once more through his mask.

When the doctor was finished with Olivia she asked Elliot to give them about twenty minutes to get her settled back into her room. Elliot took the opportunity to head down the hall to the waiting room and make the announcement that more than a dozen people were waiting to hear.

"We have two little girls," he said in excitement at the waiting room full of friends and family. "I don't know their stats yet, but they are beautiful. Both look just like Olivia with a head full of dark hair."

"What are their names dad?" Dickie asked standing up and dropping his video game to the sofa where he had been sitting.

"Aubrey Nicole and Bailey Olivia Stabler. Both named after their mother, Olivia Nicole Stabler."

"Those names are sweet daddy! I can't wait to see them," Maureen cooed.

"Well, the doctors will have to check them out and run a few tests. Why don't you take your brothers and sisters down and buy them some dinner?" He suggested handing her some cash. "I'll call you when Liv gets settled into her room and you guys can see the babies."

"Okay dad," she said taking Eli by the hand and leading the brood toward the elevator.

Elliot took a deep breath and walked back down to the gift shop. He was so relieved the delivery had gone well, but now worried about the health of their little girls.

* * *

Elliot walked into Olivia's hospital room as she stared out the window into another rain storm. On the window seal sat the two biggest dozen pink roses he had ever seen.

"Thank you for the roses Elliot, they are gorgeous."

"Not half as gorgeous as the two beautiful baby girls you just gave me. How you feeling?"

"Good. Tired. Glad that part is over, but nervous. Did you tell everyone?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes and they are all excited. I sent Maureen down to the cafeteria to buy them all some dinner, give you a little time to get settled in before they come up to visit." Elliot laughed.

"What?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"Cragen said this was the farthest anyone has ever gone to get a three day weekend. Like I convinced them to be born on a Monday."

"You worked some this morning."

"That's what I said," he laughed as he kissed her lips.

Just then the doctor entered the room followed by a nurse pushing a little bed with both babies in it. Olivia smiled as her eyes fell upon the two tiny little girls.

"How are they doing?" Olivia asked.

"These two are amazing little girls. Aubrey weighs in at four pounds two ounces and is eighteen and a half inches long. Bailey weighs three pounds fourteen ounces and is eighteen inches long. Both babies appear to be perfectly healthy. And I hear no sign what so ever of a heart murmur on either of them. They are small, but perfect little babies." She picked up one of the babies and handed her to Olivia. "This is Aubrey and," she turned and picked up the second baby girl handing her to Elliot, "this is Bailey."

"We got our babies," Elliot said with a smile as he kissed his wife.

"Now, the girls will have to remain here in the hospital until they gain some weight before they can go home. I'll monitor them closely over the next few days and when they are in the nursery I will have them in an incubator to make sure they are warm enough while they are sleeping."

"Only one bed?" Elliot asked looking toward the little plastic cradle.

"They both cried and cried after we cleaned them up. I thought there was something wrong with them, but could find nothing. Then it dawned on me, separation anxiety. They have never been more than a few inches away from each other in their lives. I placed Bailey back into Aubrey's bed and have not heard a complaint out of them since."

Olivia smiled and looked at Elliot.

"It happens with twins from time to time. The have been together in there since conception. They get scared when they are apart. I can give you guys a few minutes alone with the girls. Unfortunately until they are a little bigger I cannot allow the other children around them. But I can have the nurses bring them to the nursery window so that the older children can see their little sisters."

"That would be great," Elliot answered.

"I'll give you four some privacy," she said walking toward the door.

"Doctor?" Elliot said as she turned around. "Thank you so much. For taking care of Olivia and the babies."

"You are welcome, Mr. Stabler."

Elliot sat down on the edge of the bed as they both inspected both little girls. They were both perfect little dolls.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell them apart," Elliot said staring down as the baby girl in his arms yawned and stretched out her little hands.

"They are fraternal, El."

"But they still look exactly alike. What if I mix them up?"

"I'm sure they will forgive you," she laughed.

"I'm their father, Liv. I should be able to tell my own kids apart."

"You will. They have little differences."

"Honey four ounces difference is hard to see."

"Yes, but their eyes aren't."

Elliot looked confused.

"Look closely, daddy." She shifted the baby in her arms. "Aubrey has blue eyes and Bailey has brown." She stared at him with a satisfied smile.

Elliot laughed. "You may have just saved them years in therapy talking about how their father couldn't tell them apart. Now Bailey," Elliot said softly, "daddy got something for you." He pulled out another little cloth doll identical to the other one. He picked up the little baseball cap from the table beside the bed. "I guess we won't need this," he said holding it up to Olivia.

She took the little hat from his hand and looked at it for a moment then looked at her sleeping newborn in her fathers arms. She reached over and slid the little hat onto Bailey's head over her dark hair. "You know daddy, little girls can watch baseball, too."

Elliot raised his tear filled eyes and smiled at Olivia as she pressed her lips together and smiled back at him. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you all so much," he said as he placed a kiss on the forehead of each of his little daughters. "And when you girls get a little bigger, daddy will take you to a real Yankees game at Yankee stadium."

Olivia smiled.

* * *

Elliot stood in the hallway with his five older children peering into the nursery window. He lifted Eli up to the glass as a nurse appeared with a little bed containing two tiny little girls.

"Here they are guys," he said softly as a nurse lifted one baby to the glass and Dr. Raines held the other up.

"So who is who, dad?" Dickie asked sure his father couldn't tell the girls apart.

"Son, this is your sister Aubrey and this one here is Bailey."

"How do you tell them apart dad?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am their father, I just know." He looked at the doubting eyes of his older children. "No, Olivia showed me a way. Aubrey has blue eyes. Bailey has Olivia's brown eyes."

The kids all laughed.

"They are so sweet dad," Kathleen said with a smile. "I can't wait until we can actually hold them."

"How long do they have to be in here?" Maureen asked.

"Probably a couple of weeks. Until they get a little bigger. But they are healthy. They are just small. Being crowded up in that tiny little space for so long. They didn't have much room to grow."

"Were we that little when we were born dad?" Elizabeth asked looking down at the second set of Stabler twins.

"Not quite that small. You and your brother were both just over five pounds. Dickie was a little bigger than you were," Elliot said kissing the top of her head. "But your mom was pregnant with you three weeks longer than Olivia was with them. So you had more time to grow bigger."

"Oh," she replied.

"Are you guys ready to go back and see Olivia?"

"Yeah, we brought presents for her and the babies. Some clothes and things for the girls and flowers for Liv."

"I'm sure she'll love them. She is very tired so we will only have a few minutes to visit tonight. But Maureen can bring you guys back tomorrow after school to visit for a while." And with that Elliot lead them down the hall to see Olivia.


	18. 18 One Little Smile

_Truth And Deception_

_(Chapter Eighteen: One Little Smile)_

Elliot sat on one end of the couch holding a pacifier in Bailey's little mouth and cooing down to her as she wrapped her little hand tight around his finger. In the six weeks since they had been born she had quickly become a daddy's girl. Not that he didn't love Aubrey equally, but she had taken more to Olivia.

Bailey being the more laid back and more patient of the two usually took round two at the breast, waiting patiently with a pacifier while her sister ate first. Aubrey didn't take a pacifier, ever. If she was hungry she wanted to eat and she wanted to eat now. Placing a pacifier in her mouth only resulted in a very upset baby.

Bailey stared up at Elliot with her little brown eyes as he grinned down at her. Babies, especially newborn twins were a lot of work, but he had forgotten until these two came along just how much fun they were as well.

"Okay switch," Olivia said from the other end of the sofa as she pulled Aubrey from her breast and handed her off to Elliot to burp. They traded off twins as Olivia smiled and kissed little Bailey. "Are you hungry too, sweetheart?" She asked looking down as the little brown eyed angel. She nestled the little girl close to her and rocked her gently in her arms as she began to nurse.

"I think we finally got the hang of this twins thing."

"Yeah," Olivia replied. "It only took us six weeks," she said with a smile.

"Hey we caught on pretty fast. I don't think Kathy and I ever really got the hang of it. And we had two kids before them. So what do my girls have planned for today?"

"First big day out. We have a check up, all three of us. Them with Dr. Sands, the pediatrician and me with Dr. Raines. I think they get shots and we'll see how they are going development wise. Then I figured now that they are actually big enough to get out of the house for a little while, we'd do a little shopping. We need everything for the house and diapers and I want to get them each a new dress for the work picnic next week. It will be the first time anyone outside our department has seen them. I want them to be adorable."

"They are the cutest kids in the world, they are always adorable."

"I also want to get more of that alcohol hand gel. If anyone holds or touches them they are using that stuff first."

"Good call."

"Then I was thinking maybe we would come and visit daddy and grandpa at work."

Elliot smiled. "I have been waiting patiently until I could show them off at work. Every day people ask how they are doing and want to see the newest pictures. Fin, Munch and Casey have only seen them once or twice since they were born. I am sure they will all be excited to see them."

"You're going to be late," Olivia said laying Bailey into the bassinette and handing Elliot a cup of coffee in exchange for Aubrey.

"I gotta run. But I love this morning feeding time. This and that little bit of play time in the evenings before they go to bed are my favorite times of the day." Elliot kissed his wife. "Bye baby, I love you. Bye-bye girls, daddy loves you, too." He kissed the top of Aubrey's little head then leaned into the bassinette to give Bailey a kiss as well. "Call me while you're out and we can meet for lunch. I'll put the stroller in the car for you."

"Thank you," she said with a smile as Elliot grabbed the stroller from the closet and carried it to the elevator with him.

Olivia changed the girls and turned on the little mobile above the bassinette. She rolled the bassinette down the hall in front of the bathroom as she stepped inside and grabbed a quick shower while the babies napped peacefully. She got dressed and fixed her hair then headed for the nursery to pull out two little summer dresses with matching diaper covers, one a green colored fabric with little bunnies on it and the other yellow with teddy bears.

She brought the diaper bag and carriers into the nursery sitting them at one end of the changing table. Olivia packed the diaper bag with fresh diapers two changes of clothes and a handful of burp cloths. She then picked one of the babies up from the bassinette and changed her diaper and put her little dress on her. She placed the little lacy bonnet on her daughter's head and covered her with a blanket as she buckled the baby into her seat.

"Next," she said picking Bailey up from the bassinette. "There's mommy's girl," she said kissing the baby as she laid her down on the changing table.

She proceeded to change and dress baby number two and buckle her into her seat as well covering her with a blanket. Olivia slipped the strap of the diaper bag over her shoulder and picked up the two carriers. She maneuvered carefully sideways through the nursery door and down the hall sitting the babies down onto the sofa as she grabbed a few bottles of pre-pumped breast milk and put them into the diaper bag as well.

"Here we go girls," she said as she picked up the two carriers with the straps of her purse and the diaper bag over one shoulder. In the hall she sat one baby down to lock the apartment door and push the button for the elevator. Again in the elevator she sat a carrier down pushing the button for the parking garage.

"Morning Mr. Stabler," Josh the parking attendant said as she exited the elevator and headed for her SUV.

"Morning, Josh."

"Looks like you have your hands full. Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked running after her.

Olivia was still new enough at this mommy thing that she wasn't about to hand over one of her children to the twenty something actor want to be son of the building owner. She knew Josh well enough to know that he would never hurt the babies, but right now there weren't many people she did trust to carry her kids around.

"Can you take the keys from my hand and push the button to unlock the car?" She asked turning to offer him the key ring dangling on one of her fingers.

"Yes ma'am," he said pushing the button as they heard the beep and the lights flashed on her car as the alarm unarmed itself. "Let me get the door for you," he said opening the door to the back seat allowing her to sit the car seats inside."

"Thank you Josh," she said pulling a ten dollar bill from her purse to tip him.

"That isn't necessary ma'am. Anytime you need help, just let me know. Carrying groceries or whatever."

"Thank you. Take the money Josh, you really are a big help."

"Thank you ma'am. Your little girls are getting much bigger. Not so tiny anymore, huh?"

"No, they are getting bigger fast."

"How are they doing?"

"Really well, thank you."

"Alright ma'am. I'm on until ten o'clock tonight if you need anything just let me know."

"Thanks Josh. I will be back a little later with some shopping bags…"

"I'd be glad to carry them up for you. I guess with twins you always have your hands full."

"Yeah pretty much," she smiled.

Olivia climbed into the SUV and headed across town to her appointment.

A couple of hours later she pulled into the parking lot of the station house.

"Hey there," she hears Elliot's voice behind her.

"Didn't we just see you at lunch?" She said with a smile. "You know my husband is a cop. Following me around is liable to get you into trouble."

Elliot smiled and kissed her.

"Can you set up the stroller for me?"

"Sure, what do you need the stroller for?"

"I figured I would put them into it and let them stretch out a little bit. Rest a little better while I get some work done and check my messages."

"It's a good theory," Elliot said as she unbuckled Aubrey from her seat and handed her off to him.

"Why do you say that?"

"Do you honestly think either of these kids is going to spend more than five minutes in the stroller? Cragen won't put them down that long. And if he does someone else will pick them up. They are going to spend the entire visit being carried around."

Olivia smiled. "So should I just leave them in their seats for now? Then put them in the stroller while I do the shopping?"

"Here," he said kissing Aubrey's forehead. "you take her and I will get Bailey and the other car seat."

Elliot folded back up the stroller and placed it back into the hatch of the SUV, then made his way around to unbuckle little Bailey's car seat. "She's still sleeping," he said with a smile as he picked up Aubrey's car seat as well and they headed for the elevator.

Inside he sat the two seats on his desk. Cragen spotted the baby in Olivia's arms and confiscated her immediately, kissing Liv softly on the cheek.

"Grandpa's girls came to visit him at work," he announced proudly. "Hey there Bailey," he said staring down at the baby girl with a smile.

Olivia grinned at him and pointed to the other carrier.

"Aubrey. Sorry about that honey. Grandpa will get it right one of these days."

Olivia chuckled a little.

Elliot unbuckled Bailey and held her against him as he walked around the room patting her on the back in an attempt to wake her up. He cradled his daughter as Munch and Fin walked in.

"They are getting so big," Fin said as he brushed his fingertip across the tuft of dark hair sticking out from under Bailey's little bonnet.

"Aubrey is now seven pounds even and Bailey is six pounds eight ounces. The pediatrician said they are both doing really well. Very healthy babies."

"Daddy's big girls," Elliot said looking down at Bailey as she smiled up at him. "Babe, she smiled at me."

"She did?" Olivia walked to Elliot's side and looked down at Bailey smiling up at her daddy and looking at him with her mother's brown eyes. "Good girl," Olivia cooed at her daughter. "That is our first smile." She kissed the baby and looked up at Elliot. "She is definitely her daddy's girl."

A while later Olivia took the girls on their first shopping trip. Elliot however sat around at work and got ready for court that afternoon. As they stood to go Munch noticed a spot on Elliot's tie.

"Oh," Elliot said reaching for a napkin, "it's spit up."

"You mean to tell me you have been walking around all day with baby vomit on your tie? We have to be in court in half an hour and that is disgusting," Munch protested.

"Relax man," Fin interrupted, "all kids do it."

"It is still disgusting."

"The spot won't come off," Elliot said loosening his tie.

"What are you doing?" Munch asked. "You can't go into court without a tie!"

"I have another one in my locker. Just give me a second."

"You keep a spare tie in your locker?"

"Munch, the man has seven children. Do you really think this is the first time this has ever happened?" Fin asked sarcastically.

"It's good for that or those days when you deposit part of your lunch on your tie. It is just handy to have it just in case."

Fin chuckled. "Maybe you should think about keeping a spare in your locker," he said pointing to the small and barely noticeable coffee stain on Munch's tie.

"Hey, that is old. Besides at least it isn't regurgitated baby formula!"

"Neither is mine," Elliot said with a smirk.

"No?"

"No, Olivia breastfeeds!"

Munch groaned and grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his chair as he walked toward the elevator. "That was not something that I needed to know!"

Elliot and Fin followed behind him laughing so hard at the face he had made they could barely breathe.

* * *

That evening Olivia had dinner waiting for Elliot when he arrived home. They enjoyed a quiet romantic meal by candle light as the girls slept in their bassinette in the living room.

After dinner it was bath time for the babies. It was Elliot's job to "catch" them and "ring them out" after Olivia pulled them out. He would stand behind her at the sink and occupy one baby while she gave the other a bath. Then he would grab a yellow hooded ducky towel for the hand off and move the first baby to the nursery to dry her off and dress her as mommy bathed the next baby.

Elliot would finish laying his daughter into the bassinette and move into position with the second yellow ducky towel to catch the next baby and dress her. Meanwhile Olivia would move to the rocking chair and nurse the first one. By now they had perfected this system and were able to pull it off fairly easily.

But tonight was a big night for the girls. Tonight mommy had decided they were going to spend their first night in their own cribs instead of sleeping together in the bassinette in mommy and daddy's bedroom.

Elliot stood holding Aubrey and looking at her crib with her name in cotton candy pink letters above it.

"Are your sure about this?" He asked Olivia.

"It is just a trial, Elliot. If they don't take to the separation immediately then I will put them both in the same crib for now. But it is as good a time as any to transfer them to the crib from the bassinette. We can still use the bassinette for naps, but they are big enough now to be in their cribs."

"Okay," he replied unsure of how much he agreed with her on this. He laid a sleeping Aubrey into the crib and watched her for a moment.

"They are fine daddy," Olivia said slipping her arms around his waist and kissing his cheek. "We can't watch them sleep every night of their lives."

"I know. It is just hard. They are getting big so fast. I am surprised you are taking it this well."

She laughed as she combed her fingers in his hair. "Our room is twelve feet away. If they cry we can come get them. But they will never learn this if we don't give them the chance. They are not going to be little babies forever, Elliot. But they are never going to grown into strong adults either if we don't give them the chance to experience new things."

"I'll remember that when they want to start dating at thirteen years old. You think babies are scary? Teenagers are horrifying!"

Olivia laughed again and kissed him. "Besides, I think this will give mommy and daddy some much needed alone time." She slipped her hand into his and lead him down the hall to the bedroom. She kissed him passionately as she undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt.

"Can we even do this yet?" He asked as he broke their lips apart.

"It's fine," she said kicking off her shoes and unzipping her jeans. "I had a doctors appointment today too, remember?"

"She said it's alright? I don't want to hurt you."

"She said it's alright," Olivia whispered against his lips as she stepped out of her jeans.

She stood in front of him wearing only a tee shirt and her black lace boy short underwear and she looked incredible. To look at her you couldn't even tell she had been pregnant, let alone given birth to twins just six weeks earlier. The only evidence of delivery at all was the pink scar across her abdomen that seemed to fade more each day.

Olivia kissed him passionately and dropped his pants to the floor beside hers. She playfully pushed him back onto the bed and crawled over beside him.

"What?" She asked pressing her lips together. "You don't want to?"

"I want to. I really want to," he said as his hand found its way to rest on her amazing ass just above the black lace that covered it. "Are you sure they're okay?"

"If they wake up then we'll stop and I will go get them. We can't just never have sex again because we have kids, Elliot."

"You're right," he growled as he flipped her over and pinned her to the bed.

Olivia squealed playfully as he kissed her tenderly and pushed his hand up under her shirt. She groaned and winced in pain as Elliot pulled back to look at her. "Easy there, they are a little tender."

"I'm sorry," he said pulling back from her.

"It's okay. Just be gentle. It's a breastfeeding thing. Maybe it's best if you don't touch them a lot."

"That is going to be hard. I'm a breast man and," he laughed, "they are so great."

Olivia laughed back at him. "You think that until you touch me wrong and get leaked on. Pretty gross, but my doctor said it is common during sex while breast feeding."

"Nice. Anything else off limits?"

Olivia looked at him and stared into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, honey. I don't mean to be difficult," he said softly. "I have just never had had to make love to you under conditions before."

She laid back onto the bed beside him and exhaled softly. "What if I just kept my shirt on? You could still feel around under it, but that would keep you from getting too carried away and soak up anything that may leak. God this is starting to sound not even remotely sexy," she said sitting up.

"No," Elliot said pulling her back down to the bed. "This is like everything else. We just have to find a system. A way that works for us. After that we will be fine."

"Yeah, except that my hormones are raging and I am horny as hell and just want to do it already. Sex didn't used to be this complicated."

"Welcome to the land of parenthood," Elliot said sarcastically. "Everything just got more complicated. But that doesn't mean we cant make it work. I love you and I want you," he said kissing her lips. "I will do it standing on my head if that is what is comfortable for you. I just have not had sex with my wife in…God, I don't remember how long. So you can leave your shirt on, the panties are coming off," he said pulling them from her hips, "and I will do it any way you like."

Olivia smiled. "Really?"

"Really," Elliot said as he kissed her lips. "You want foreplay? You get foreplay, hours of it."

"Not tonight," she said wrinkling her eyebrow at him. She raised up a little in the bed. "Tonight, I just want the sex. Hard and strong," she said dragging her fingertip over his cheek. "Until we just cant take anymore and we collapse in pleasure in each other's arms."

"Really?" Elliot asked in disbelief. He had never know a woman to turn down the foreplay.

"Really," she said with a naughty smile. "We can save the foreplay for round two. Right now, I just want to feel my husband inside me again."

"I am not quite sure why, but that is incredibly hot," Elliot said moving over her on the bed and kissing her lips.

Olivia giggled. "Don't be afraid to get rough," she said with a wink. "Just watch grabbing the boobs."

Elliot smiled like a kid at Christmas.

"Oh," she said sitting up from the bed. "One more thing," she reached to the nightstand drawer and tossed him a condom.

"We're using condoms now?"

"Just until I can go in and get my IUD. I really don't want to chance getting pregnant again right now. And did you know that your chances of having twins are greater if you conceive while you are breastfeeding?"

"That is scary."

"I know. So I picked up an extra large box of these little babies while I was out today. You should have seen the look on the pharmacists face when I walked to the counter pushing a stroller with twins to pay for a package of Pampers and an economy sized box of condoms. Priceless!"

Elliot laughed. "Come here you!" He said laying her back against the bed and kissing her.


	19. 19 Seven Months

_**Truth And Deception**_

_**(Chapter Nineteen: Seven Months)**_

"**Elliot," he heard her whisper. **

**Elliot opened his eyes to look at his wife. "What baby?"**

"**Listen," she whispered as she picked up the baby monitor.**

**They could hear the cooing and baby noises from the girls in the next room. Then out of the blue there was a crystal clear "da, da, da, da."**

**Elliot smiled and laughed. "I'll be damned. Aubrey?"**

"**Umm, no I think it's Bailey."**

**They listened for a few more minutes to happy baby noises as the twins squealed and cooed at each other across the nursery from their cribs. **

"**Da, da, da, da, da." Once more this time followed by a little seven month old cackle.**

**Elliot and Olivia climbed quietly from the bed and walked down the hall toward the nursery and pushed the door open. Aubrey sat in her crib holding her blanket and sucking on her thumb as she smiled at her sister. **

**Bailey however, stood up in her crib holding on to the rail and cooing. She was talking her little baby gibberish then looked over at Elliot and smiled. "Da, da, da, da, da."**

"**That's right princess," Elliot said with a smile as he scooped his daughter up into his arms, "I'm your da da."**

**He kissed her and bounced her gently as he combed his fingers through her dark curls. Olivia picked Aubrey up from her crib and laid her onto the changing table.**

"**I think you two need a dry diaper, then mommy will get some breakfast." **

**Elliot pulled two little outfits from the girls' closet and handed one to Olivia with a fresh diaper. He laid Bailey back down in her crib and changed her diaper then put on her outfit.**

**They carried their daughters to the dining room where the sat the girls on matching high chairs for a breakfast of cheerios and a bottle of breast milk. Olivia slipped off to the nursery to pump breast milk for the girls as Elliot started breakfast for he and his wife. **

**After breakfast there was about half an hour of playtime before it was time for the girls to go to nursery school and mommy and daddy were off to work. **

**Elliot walked in to work with a big smile on his face.**

"**What are you so happy about?" Fin asked as Elliot took a seat at his desk.**

**Olivia sat a cup of coffee down in front of her husband.**

"**Thank you baby," he said with a smile.**

"**Don't you recognize that grin?" John Munch said nodding his head toward Elliot. "That is definitely a glow of fatherly pride."**

"**How do you know?" Fin asked.**

"**He's right," Olivia said sitting down at her desk and taking a sip of her coffee. "We got our first words this morning."**

"**You did?" Cragen asked from behind her.**

"**Yup," Olivia bragged with a smile.**

"**Which one?" Fin asked.**

"**We got a pool going," Munch added. "You know, which one will walk first and talk first, first words, yada, yada. I guess we have a couple of pools going."**

**Olivia smiled. "You guys are betting over my children?"**

"**Friendly little wager," Fin said. **

"**How much?" Elliot asked.**

"**Not much," Munch said trying to defend the wager.**

"**How much?" Elliot repeated.**

"**Twenty bucks," Munch confessed. "Who was it?" He asked as he and Fin each laid twenty dollars on the desk in front of them.**

"**Bailey," Olivia spoke up. "She said da da."**

"**Yes," Munch said opening his palm as Fin dropped the forty dollars into it.**

"**But," Olivia added, "Aubrey took her first steps last week. Two days before Bailey took hers."**

"**Ha!" Fin said reaching for the cash.**

"**I'll take that," Elliot said swiping up the cash from Munch's palm before Fin could get it. "Thank you uncle John and uncle Fin for the donation to the girls' toy and clothing fund. That is what happens when you bet over my kids. I hope you learned your lesson," he said pointing at them. "You should be ashamed of yourselves. You should be setting a better example for you nieces."**

**Olivia smiled and chuckled a little as she watched Elliot scold them for their behavior.**

"**Way to handle that El," she said with a wink as she uncrossed her legs and leaned forward to kiss him.**

* * *

**That afternoon Elliot and Olivia took their daughters to a baby store where they each got a new outfit and a toy, courtesy of uncle Fin and uncle Munch. They took there baby girls out for dinner where they nibbled on bits of French fry and chicken nuggets. **

**That evening as they tucked their little girls into bed, handing them each a bottle and turning on the nightlight. Elliot kissed each of his daughters as he tucked their little brown curls into place.**

"**I am the luckiest man in the world," he said to his wife as they stared down at Aubrey sleeping.**

"**They are pretty amazing kids, aren't they?" Olivia asked.**

"**Great kids. Both of them. They make daddy so proud."**

"**They are growing so fast," Olivia said as she turned to look in on Bailey who pulled her bottle from her mouth and offered it to her mother. **

**Olivia kissed her baby girl and put the bottle back into her mouth as she tucked her soft pink blanket in around her and handed her the baby doll that slept in the crib with her each night. The same baby doll that Elliot had bought for her on the day she was born. **

"**It is hard to imagine now," Elliot said smiling down at his little girl as her big brown eyes fell shut, "but they will be teenagers before we know it." **

"**Don't rush it, El. I want my babies to stay babies just a while longer," Olivia said as she hugged him.**

"**Well, you know we could always try to have another baby later down the road."**

"**I don't know. I think maybe seven kids is enough. And what if we had twins again?"**

"**At least we have a system now," Elliot said with a smile.**

**Olivia laughed. "We'll see," she said hugging her husband and kissing him tenderly. "Why don't you take your wife to bed?" She asked with a seductive look as she twisted his tie in her fingers. "It is still a little early, so we have a little time to play before we have to go to sleep," she said as she playfully bit his bottom lip.**

"**Baby, you read my mind!"**

**Elliot picked his wife up and carried her off to bed. **


End file.
